Parenthood: Victorious Style
by bluecinderella4
Summary: Couldn't come up with a better title, sorry. I've always wanted to do a parenting type story and I thought I'd set it to the movie Parenthood- which I recommend people see. Better summary inside.
1. Meet the Families

**Geez my movie obsessions seem to get worse, and worse, and worse. Okay so I'm working on a **_**Victorious/Ghostbusters **_**style fanfic right now and I took a break for a short while and I thought…I'd really like to give my favorite **_**Victorious**_** couples kids…then I shrugged it off and had an 80's movie marathon. One thing I tried to avoid was getting ideas-**

**-I got an idea.**

**I was watching **_**Parenthood**_** (I recommend that movie to anyone- especially anyone who wants kids) and there was a scene where Rick Moranis' character Nathan, who is a nerd basically, tries to win back his wife Susan by going into her class and singing the song from their wedding to prove he loves her and that he can change. I was watching this semi sleep deprived and for a split second I thought it was Matt Bennett (it wasn't). I think to myself 'It'd be real cute if Robbie was serenading to Cat like that to win her or something'.**

**And that's how this fanfic began. I figured, I'm not going anywhere on this fandom and I kinda trademarked myself ripping off (usually 80's) movies- why not do it again. And I wanted to give the characters kids, what better opportunity for that than to use this movie.**

**Before I begin, there will be some obvious changes. Namely none of them- except Tori and Trina- are related by blood, but they're all like a family and still hang out with each other. I'll explain better in the story.**

**Let's begin.**

* * *

><p><em>It was Beck Oliver's eighth birthday. Every year on his birthday his father Jim would take him to an L.A. Dodgers' game. And every year, something would be more important and Beck's birthday games would have to be delayed.<em>

_Jim and Beck arrived somewhere in the middle of the game. "See, I told you I'd get you here, and you're here," Jim assured._

"_We already missed five innings."_

"_You're still here aren't you? Go find two empty seats, huh kid." Beck obeyed his father's requests as Jim whistled for an usher. The little Oliver boy sat in an empty corner seat and watched as Jim handed the usher something (most likely money) and the two older men went over to the birthday boy. "Beck, this is Larry. He's gonna watch the game with you for a while. I'm gonna go take care of some business and I'll meet you back here by the ninth inning okay."_

"_Okay," Beck sighed. His father patted him on the shoulder and hurried off as Larry took a seat beside him. _

"_So kid," Larry began, "you a baseball fan?"_

"_I guess."_

"_Your dad bring you here a lot?"_

"_Once a year on my birthday, then he pays some usher or vendor to watch me."_

"_Ah."_

"_He's done it ever since this tradition started on my fifth birthday. If he pays extra, the vendors give me free snacks."_

"_He does, does he?"_

"_What are you selling, peanuts?"_

"_Cotton candy."_

"_Got the blue kind?"_

"_Yep," Larry handed the boy a blue cotton candy._

"_You have to understand my father, in his own childhood, lacked a positive male influence."_

"_Say what?"_

"_My Grandpa kicked my dad out when my dad was fifteen. When my dad had his own kids, he saw child raising as more of a burden. A prison, rather than a playground so to speak. Do you understand what I'm saying?"_

"_You don't talk like a kid."_

"_I'm not a kid."_

"_Yeah, but you're not a shrink either."_

"_This is a memory of when I was a kid. I'm in my mid-thirties now, I've got kids of my own- the majority of my closest friends have kids of their own too. And honestly, you don't even exist; you're an amalgam."_

"_A what?"_

"_You're basically a combination of several ushers or vendors that my dad left me with throughout the years. I've combined them all into one memory."_

"_Why?"_

"_Looking back, this was a symbolic moment in my life. My father dumping me with guys like you…I swore things would be different with my kids. Ever since I became a parent my dreams have been about my kids. I want my kids to be strong, happy, confident kids."_

"_That's just fantastic!" Larry seemed irked. "You got yourself a lovely family and I'm a God damn amalgam."_

"Beck," an attractive, yet bitter looking woman was interceding Beck's memory.

_Larry whistled. "Who's that?"_

"_That's my wife," little Beck answered._

_Larry eyed the woman. "Nice."_

"Beck," this time the woman seemed more ticked.

"_Yeah," the little boy answered._

"The game's over, get your ass up and let's get out of here."

Adult Beck stared at his wife for a second before turning to his side and realizing that it was indeed just a memory. "Okay, let's get going."

"I thought this game would never end. I frickin' hate baseball."

"You hate everything, Babe," he commented to his wife as he picked up their toddler and she picked up all the miscellaneous souvenirs their kids couldn't carry.

"Daddy," a little girl, a combination of Beck and his wife, looked up at her father with curious eyes.

"Yeah, sweetie."

"What's a cock sucking ass monger?" this comment made a slightly older looking boy, presumably her older brother, laugh.

"Eden, honey, where did you hear that from?"

"Right behind me. Someone was talking about how the third baseman was a cock sucking ass monger. What does that mean?"

"It's something you won't know about for another thirty years if we're lucky."

"Dad," her brother began, "we all know that an ass is a butt and you told me a cock is a rooster. So the third baseman sucks roosters with his butt." This made Eden giggle as the two parents exchanged exasperated glances with each other.

"I don't know why you have to carry him," Jade was good at changing subjects. "The kid's three years old and he knows how to walk."

"We tried getting him to walk earlier, he threw a tantrum," Beck reminded.

"That was hours ago. He's got two legs, make him use 'em."

"Fine," Beck put the toddler down. "Come on Damien, we're gonna walk." The three year old started bawling and clung to his father's leg. "Jade, can you-"

"My hands are full enough as it is! Just let him cling to your leg."

Beck tried to walk as Damien clutched his leg. "This feels really uncomfortable."

Jade looked around. "Where's Noah?" She let out a sigh. "Please don't tell me we lost a kid again. NOAH!"

Noah ran over to his mom. "Check it out; some sucker dropped a twenty dollar bill."

"And you take it from him?" Beck inquired. His eldest son nodded. "Your mother has taught you well."

"Yeah, I'm saving up to get my own apartment."

"You're eight years old."

"So? I'm gonna be nine in less than two months."

"I'm not gonna argue." Beck and his family made the trek to their van. "Jade, can you put Damien in his booster seat?"

"Why can't you?" she barked at him.

"I'm gonna get the car started so that…" Eden jumped out of the open van and started to run back toward the stadium, "…on second thought, I might as well get our daughter." Beck ran to get his daughter. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Noah and Damien got a baseball cap, I want one too! And I want a pink one!" Beck notice his wife grimace at the thought of her daughter liking the color pink- a color she herself despised.

"We asked you if you wanted a cap and you said you didn't."

"That was before! I want one now!"

"We'll get you one later."

"I WANT ONE NOW!"

"Here, crybaby," Noah took off his blue cap and held it out for his sister to reach. Satisfied with getting at least a hat, she got back in the car and buckled her seatbelt.

"Noah, put your seatbelt on," Beck instructed.

"Why? I'm the back. Mom doesn't ride her seatbelt when she seats in the back."

"Your Mom doesn't sit in the back anymore."

"But if she did, she wouldn't wear a seatbelt."

"Noah, put on your seatbelt."

"Make me!"

"Put the damn seatbelt on!" Jade yelled at her son.

"Hey, hey, language," Beck reprimanded his wife. Still, this was effective in Noah putting on his seatbelt. "Are we all set?"

"Yeah, Dad!" his oldest kids agreed in unison.

"Good, let's get the Hell out of here," Jade closed the back door and made her way to the passenger side.

"Language," Beck reminded.

"Screw you."

"We'll see," Beck whispered to her so the kids wouldn't hear and made his way to the driver's side. Once the car left the stadium, it was nearing nighttime and they still had some ways to go until they got back to their house.

Somewhere on the freeway, Noah started singing a song to his siblings.

"_When you're sliding into first and you're feeling something burst_

_Diarrhea, diarrhea_

_When you're sliding into third and you feel a juicy turd_

_Diarrhea, diarrhea_

_When you're sliding into home and your shorts are full of foam_

_Diarrhea, diarrhea_

_When you're sitting in your Chevy and your shorts are feeling heavy_

_Diarrhea, diarrhea."_

"Hey Champ," Beck began, "where'd you learn that song?"

"Last summer at camp."

Jade scoffed. "That was money well spent."

Throughout the long drive home, Noah and Eden kept themselves entertained by signing this little ditty as even Damien tried to join in.

When they eventually made it home, it was about nine at night. Pulling into the driveway, the kids had quieted down. Noah, in fact, had fallen asleep. Eden and Damien had napped some of the way home as well, but once their parents shook them up, they managed to get themselves into the house. This left Beck the task of carrying his eight year old to his bedroom and setting him on the top bunk. Noah shared a room with his little brother, and when Damien entered the room after using the bathroom (something he thankfully was now trained to do), the three year old was stark naked and was carrying a cowboy hat. "Is that what you're gonna sleep in tonight? You know you're gonna get cold." Damien placed the cowboy hat atop his head. "That's better."

"Hey Father of the Year," Jade was still in a mood (surprise, surprise) as she entered the boys' bedroom. "Your daughter's not feeling well and she's asking for you."

"It's probably 'cause of all those hot dogs she ate. Could you take care of the boys?"

"Whatever."

"Hey," Beck stood beside his three year old, "whaddya say I wear this outfit after the kids fall asleep?"

Jade glared at him. "She's in our bedroom."

Beck entered his bedroom to find their six year old sitting up on the bed rocking herself and clutching her stomach. He put his arms around her. "What's the matter, you don't feel good?"

"No," she was on the verge of tears.

"You feel like throwing up?"

"Okay," Eden regurgitated all over her father and began to cry.

Jade came into the bedroom after her puke-drenched husband had backed away in shock, "Beck, why are you just standing there?"

"I'm waiting for her head to spin around," Beck sarcastically commented.

Jade tried to calm down her sobbing child. "Come on Eden, let's get you cleaned up and into bed."

Before cleaning himself off, Beck watched with a small smile on his face. Jade was a good mother, motherhood had soften her a bit. Sure, she was still Jade, but a more…tolerable Jade so to speak. Neither of them thought they would have any kids, and when they found out in college they were going to become parents, Jade contemplated giving up the baby not wanting to give up her dreams of working in the film industry. Eventually, her wants subsided as she settled into parenthood with her partner. Beck got a job in advertising while Jade had an on-and-off again job she tolerated as a co-wedding planner. Even though both of them wanted to pursue film careers, Beck seemed comfortable with the life he was living and that fatherhood was a never-ending acting role- which also kept him happy.

After he got himself cleaned up, he waited on the bed for his wife in a short sleeve shirt and boxers. Jade entered the room and plopped onto the bed. "Not tonight," she coldly informed him.

"You sure?"

"If you so much as try to make a move I will give you a homemade vasectomy."

"Fair enough."

"Oh, we gotta go see the principal at the kids' school on Monday."

"Aw Babe, when you talk about school I get turned on."

"I noticed. Look, I forgot to tell you about it earlier and-"

"What's the matter?"

"Noah's teacher says he's been making that face again."

"This face?" Beck demonstrated.

"Yeah, the tense face."

"I noticed he makes that same face at Little League."

"His teacher asked me if we've ever taken him for psychiatric evaluation."

"Why just because he makes a face; has she ever looked in the mirror?"

"There's also been crying, and the nervousness-"

"She mentioned the crying?"

"The kid's got problems finishing his work."

"Why won't he tell us about it?"

"I guess it's a pride thing." She noticed her husband's expression. "You as pissed off about this as I am?"

"This teacher's labeling our son as a Problem Kid when he just needs a little more of her attention."

"Noah's a great kid; he's not that much of a problem."

"Exactly, now if it was Tori's kid..."

"Which one?"

"Tony."

"Tony?"

"There's a kid with problems."

**…**

Tori Vega's twelve year old son, Tony, slowly opened his door and looked around before he set a worn out paper bag at his door. Stepping out of his room, he locked the lock on his door and started walking to the door, hoping not to be noticed by his mother- who was working at the table.

"Hi Tony," too late, "you're up so early this morning."

"Yeah," nowadays Tony barely speaks any words.

Tori noticed the bag. "What's in the bag?"

"Nothing."

"Where are you going?" she tried to stay positive as she inquired about her son.

"Out."

"Tony, there's gonna be a get-together tonight for a big surprise. Lane and Sinjin are bringing Sikowitz over, which means it must be big. Beck and Jade are bringing their kids and Cat and Robbie are…" Tony left the house, "…nice talking to you too." Tori tried to stay active in her kids' lives, lately Tony's. When he was younger, Tony was a happy kid; that all changed when his father Danny left Tori and his family for his secretary Maura whatever her last name was. None of them talked to Danny as much, he was now Dr. Landis D.D.S., but even as a dentist he refused to fix his kids' teeth. Tori regretted the night he pressured her into sleeping with him at someone's gradation party because that resulted in the conception of their now seventeen year old daughter Annie (Tori also regretted letting Danny name the children, but it was a little late for that issue). "Hey Annie," Tori decided to focus on her daughter.

"Yeah?" her daughter's voice responded from behind closed doors.

"Annie, can I come in for a minute?"

"Yeah," Annie opened her bedroom door.

"Annie, I need your help; everybody's coming over tonight for whatever reason. I could use some help cleaning up and getting things situated."

"Yeah, sure I could do that."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah fine, why do you ask?"

"I thought I heard you moaning last night."

"Yeah, I had a stomachache and it hurt to get up and get any Pepto so-"

"You hate me?"

"What?"

"Do you hate me for making you study so much and giving up all your dates?"

"No, you were right."

"Those SAT scores are your ticket to a great life. And once you go to a great college you're gonna meet a lot of other guys you like just as much as that Max-"

Annie's demeanor became defensive. "Why do you always sat _that_ _Max_ it just sounds so-"

"Sorry. Sorry, it's been pleasant…for a moment. I guess I should go get dinner. I'm gonna make us all spaghetti and salad, and a steak for Sikowitz- Lane says Sikowitz is on some self-indulged meat rampage, whatever that means. I'll see you later, Honey."

Once Tori was out of the room, Annie shut the door and continued to listen for her mother. Once the coast was clear, she took a deep breath. "She's gone."

A teenage boy, presumably _that _Max slid out from under her bed. "Man, your mother can talk," he started to put his pants on. "She hates my ass."

"Yeah, but it's such a cute ass," he wiggled his butt for her. "Mom heard the moaning and thought it was me. Max, you're gonna have to try and control yourself."

He stopped putting on his pants and let them fall. "With you, it's impossible." He climbed on the bed with her. "Hey, I brought something."

"Ooh, cool," when he reached for whatever he brought, Annie turned on her stereo to cover up any future noise.

Max towered over her proudly holding a camera in his hands. "We can record our love."

…

A few blocks away, Cat Valentine-Shapiro, now a middle school english teacher, was going over papers or something when her phone rang. "Hi," there were some aspects of the redhead that would never change, such as her perkiness every time she answered a phone.

"_Cat, it's Tori."_

"Ooh, hi Tori."

"_Listen, can I borrow that serving tray of yours?"_

"KK! Is it for tonight?"

"_Yeah. Oh did I tell you the good news."_

"Yay, I love good news; but no, you didn't tell me."

"_Annie got 1291 on her SATs."_

"Ooh, excitement."

"_I know, I'm so proud of her. Hey, how's Sophie?"_

"Well, Sophie hasn't been giving as much effort to her work as she should," Cat peeked in the other room as her husband was giving a lecture to their daughter. "Math, French, everything's gone down. Robbie's trying to figure out what's wrong. I think I'm gonna talk to her too."

"_Okay, see you later."_

"KK, bye!" Cat hung up the phone and took a seat next to her husband. The two of them really loved each- just as she did back when they were younger- and had a pretty charming life together. Robbie eventually dumped Rex and went to college to become a professor. Cat, inspired by this, went to college with him so that she could become a teacher. After their daughter Sophie was born, Robbie was the one who decided to stay at home and take care of her while Cat pursued a job in the teaching profession. Hoping to give his own child a more fulfilling future, he pretty much became a full-time teacher to their daughter- literally, Robbie also homeschooled her.

"Sophie," Robbie was lecturing, "all I'm saying is if you wanna have an ordinary academic career and attend an ordinary university that's your prerogative. But, I think you'd be selling yourself way short." Robbie sighed as his wife sat beside him. "Sometimes I feel as though we want this more than she does. Could you talk to her?"

Cat turned to her daughter. "Sophie, sweetie, you know we love you no matter what. But could you give your dad the little extra effort he's looking for?"

Now anyone who didn't know this family would assume that the couple was talking to a high school aged child. Imagine the slap in their face when they realized Sophie wasn't even four years old! The brunette child in the pink dress and pink bows nodded at her mother. "KK, Mommy."

Robbie smiled at his little girl. "That's all I ask."

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna stop this fanfic because there's still a lot to go. If you're wondering, Andre and Trina will be in here and even though Sinjin would've had no part, I did give him one because I like Sinjin. But if you're curious, Danny won't really be in here- at least physically-, and neither will Rex.<strong>

**If you have any questions feel free to ask me- or watch the movie 'cause I'm pretty much copying the movie, but giving it a **_**Victorious **_**take.**


	2. Surprise Dinner Blackout

**Okay, so far I didn't screw anything up that I know of. Good start, good start.**

**Now if you've seen the movie, the characters I based Beck, Tori, Cat, and eventually Trina on are siblings and their parents and their still living grandmother (who is a hilarious scene-stealer) play an active part in their lives. Keeping with _VicTORIous _canon, the only ones that are siblings are Tori and Trina and with the exception of Beck's father in the flashback none of the other parents appear. I decided to combine Lane and Sikowitz into more the parental-like roles while giving Sikowitz more of the funny grandma moments, and since Sinjin would've had no part really, I made a valid excuse as to why he lives with Lane and Sikowitz- and why Lane and Sikowitz live together for that matter.**

**But the focus is mostly on the main friends and their kids and what goes on in their lives. Don't hesitate to tell me who your favorite family is and what you like about them because I love feedback.**

* * *

><p>Outside on Tori Vega's lawn, the eldest of the Oliver siblings were playing what appeared to be 'Cops and Robbers'- Noah with a toy laser gun and Eden with an empty plastic water gun.<p>

"Come on Noah, I wanna play with the laser gun!"

"No!" he fired more pretend shots at his sister.

This went on for another minute before an older looking Lane appeared at the door. "Hey guys, dinner's almost ready; time to come in."

The brother and sister continued to chase each other into their 'Auntie' Tori's house, even as their father tried to make his way into the kitchen carrying an empty glass. "Guys, watch it," he reprimanded.

Standing beside the drinks was Cat and their former acting teacher, one Erwin Sikowitz. When Cat saw Beck, she smiled and waved. "Hi, Beck!" Beck ignored the fact that this was the third time Cat greeted him, gave her a smile, and started pouring a drink.

"Beckett," Sikowitz seemed to be in another confused state, "was it yours, or Tori's, or Cat's wedding that I drank too much coconut milk at?"

"All three Sikowitz," Beck popped the cork off the wine, "congratulations."

"But which one did I tackle the wedding singer?"

"That was mine. I believe you tackled him because you thought he was about to be attacked by a giant gorilla."

"There was a gorilla at your wedding?" Cat inquired.

"No, Cat. Sikowitz got drunk on coconut milk and thought he saw a gorilla."

"So there was no gorilla?"

"No, Cat."

"Good."

"Hey, have you seen Jade."

"Yeah, she's in the kitchen with Tori."

"That can't be good."

"No, Tori asked Jade for her help with the food, Jade made Tori beg for help, and once Tori begged Jade helped her."

"Fine, just as long as she stays away from the sharp kitchen utensils."

As Beck said this, Jade was shining up a kitchen knife. "So," she directed to Tori, "you were saying something about one of your kids and I wasn't listening."

"Oh come on, I listen when you talk about your kids," Tori protested.

"Yes, but I barely talk about my kids. Beck's the prouder parent person."

"True."

"Let's get this bitch session over with; what's up with one of your kids?"

"I was just thinking about when Tony was little and he always clung to my side."

"God, he was so annoying then."

"Yeah, but it was the good kind of annoying; the kind of annoying I never thought I'd miss. Nowadays if I take a step toward him, he'll take two steps back. He's just so unhappy. He doesn't even talk to me anymore. Remember how he used to talk continuously about the most insignificant things?" this remark made Jade roll her eyes. "But…" Tori took a serious pause, "…I just don't know how to help him."

"I know it's none of my business- and don't think that I care because I don't- but did you ever think about letting Danny talk to him?"

Tori groaned at the mention of her ex-husband. "Danny doesn't even acknowledge he's got these kids. He's got his _new _wife and his _new _kid. He doesn't even fix Annie and Tony's teeth anymore; he says it makes him feel uncomfortable."

"You know what would make him feel uncomfortable?" Tori shook her head no. "If he dropped his drill down his pants."

Tori couldn't help but laugh. "Jade, you actually cheered me up."

Jade instantly glared. "No it didn't!"

"Don't worry; I'll take that secret to the grave."

"You better." The two were quiet for a few moments. "You know, Andre's back in town."

"Yeah, I did. He's filling in as the music teacher at the middle school where Cat works while the original teacher's on maternity leave."

"How do you know?"

"Cat said she was having car trouble and needed me to give her a ride, but I think it was just a ruse so that Andre and I could see each other again."

"You still got any feelings for him?"

"You care?"

"Just answer my question Vega."

Tori shrugged. "I dunno. Andre did ask me out."

"And?"

"And I told him I'd think about it. Jade, do you care?"

Before Jade could answer, her youngest son ran into the kitchen with a toy bucket on his head and ran into the wall. "Not this shit again. BECK!" Beck casually entered the kitchen. "Take your kid."

"Why is it whenever they do something bad they're my kids?" Beck asked.

"Just take the damn kid."

"Language, Babe." Beck scooped up his son.

"Upside down ride! Upside down ride!" Damien chanted.

"Alright," Beck turned his son upside down and started carrying him around, much to Damien's delight. Beck exited the kitchen and headed toward the living room where Robbie and his daughter were sitting on the couch where Sophie was reading some sort of complicated literature by Franz Kafka. Beck saw this as an opportunity to mock. "Hey Robbie, Sophie a doctor yet?"

Robbie looked up at Beck. "Mock if you will."

"Alright."

"Beck, our children are more capable of retaining and absorbing information than we are and yet the majority of today's parents insist on treating their kids like adorable little morons."

Beck flipped his son right-side up and lowered him to his feet. "Are you saying Sophie can learn things that I can't learn?"

"Twenty bucks says she can in less than ten seconds."

"Deal."

Robbie reached into a bag that he had brought and laid four practically identical square cards covered with peelable dots on the table. "Sophie, which one of these is the square root of 8,649?"

The little brunette eyed the square cards and picked one out almost instantly. "Ninety-three," she pointed to the top right one. Robbie picked up the card, flipped it over, and displayed the correct answer to a dumbfounded Beck.

"I believe you owe me a crisp twenty dollar bill."

Beck reached for his wallet. "How did she do that?"

"It was easy for her. A kid's mind is like a sponge, Beck, it's ready to absorb." Robbie noticed Damien go over to the table with the cards. "The earlier you start, the better it is. Take my advice: it's too late for Noah and Eden, work on Damien."

"Actually Damien is quite bright. In his preschool class he was the only one who-" Beck watched his three year old tear off the non-edible dots and stick them in his mouth like candy. "He just doesn't think things through on an empty stomach. Speaking of food, when is dinner ready?"

"I'll go check," Robbie saw this as an opportunity to sneak up on his wife and wrap his arms around her. "Hey Kitty Cat," this made her giggle, "when's dinner ready?"

"I dunno," she playfully answered.

"Save me a seat right next to you?"

"Where else would you sit," they gave each other a few romantic pecks on the lips.

"Ugh," a disgusted Jade was setting food on the table, "get a room."

Outside, there was the sound of a car honking. "Good Gandhi the Russians have invaded!" Sikowitz started running in fear.

"Sikowitz!" Lane went over to calm down his roommate. "Sikowitz, it's just Sinjin. Hey everybody, Sinjin's back with a surprise."

The door burst open and in came Trina. "Hey everyone!"

"Trina," it seemed as though the surprise was on Lane (and everyone else). "You're the mystery guest huh?"

"Oh don't act so surprised. Give me hug," she pulled Lane into a hug.

Jade went over to her husband and whispered, "Shit."

"Well put," Beck commented back.

"Who's that," Damien asked his father.

"That's Aunt Tori's big sister Trina, don't give her any money."

"Trina," Lane began, "where's Sinjin?"

"Oh, he should be here soon," Trina said this without any worry. "See, there wasn't enough room for all of my stuff in his dinky little car so I asked him to give me the keys to his car and he loaded all my stuff and took a taxi. Oh my God, is that Sikowitz?" Trina went over to the crazy man and gave him a hug. "Geez Sikowitz, you're nearly bald."

"Yes," Sikowitz patted his head, "it appears as though my hair shrunk in the wash."

"Bummer." Trina searched the room for one particular person. "Hey Baby Sister!" as fast as her Fezzini heeled boots could take her, she ran over to her sister and gave her a hug.

"Trina," Tori was just as stunned as everyone to see her sister, "you're back from Vegas."

"Vegas was like five years ago. If you must know I just came back from New Jersey where I-"

"Mom," a soft-spoken voice came from an African-American kid nearly hidden in the doorway. Surprised eyes immediately went to Trina.

"I thought I told you to wait outside so I could introduce you," Trina's statement made the little boy back away.

"Well, there's no time like the present," Lane stared at Trina. "Why don't you introduce him now, Trina?"

"Everyone this is Cool, Cool this everyone. I'm sure you figured by this point that he's my kid."

Robbie quietly approached Beck. "Did Trina's say his name was Cool?"

"Yup!" Beck answered.

"Cool?"

"I'm just surprised that some poor sucker actually had sex with Trina."

Trina looked around. "So, why are we all standing here? Shouldn't we be like eating or something?"

"Yeah, let's get this dinner over with," Jade agreed. "I vote that Trina sits at the kids' table."

"Wow, you're still a gank."

"I was actually gonna vote that you leave."

"Well!"

As Robbie headed into the kitchen, Beck stopped him. "Word of advice Rob: keep Sophie away from Trina. Trina will suck the intelligence right out of her."

"Really?" the usually gullible Robbie took Beck seriously.

…

Once everything was situated, and Sinjin had arrived, dinner was going along without any complications, much to everyone's surprise. And even though no one was happy to see Trina, some of her stories kept them pretty entertained.

"So Trina," Tori went to start another conversation, "how'd you come up with the name Cool for your son?"

"I was so convinced that I was having a girl that I neglected to pick any boys' names," Trina explained. "I went through all that labor crap hoping it'd be worth it to hold Mini Trina in my arms and put her in this cute purple dress I bought. So I wasn't that thrilled when Mini Trina turned out to be a boy. The stupid doctor asked if I had a name, I said no, so the doctor told me to suggest some names and whatever the kid responded to would be his name. I say 'cool, whatever,' and the kid starts crying."

"So his name is Cool Whatever?"

"Oh God no! What kind of mother would I be if I gave my kid a name like that? His full name is Cool Trino Vega. I would've given him his father's last name, but I'm not sure who is father is."

"Surprise, surprise," Jade muttered as she ate some spaghetti.

"It's not the worse name imaginable. It's not like I was so desperate for names that I gave my kid a rhyming name like Bill and Jill, or Lou or Sue, or even Danny and Annie."

"You know," Annie waved to her aunt to acknowledge or existence, "I'm sitting right here."

"Sorry Ashley."

"Annie, my name is Annie."

"Oh that's your name? No wonder those checks I sent you for your birthday never got cashed."

"Well," this time it was Cat who decided to change subjects, "what are you doing back in town Trina?"

"As much as I love travelling, I thought it'd be best if I came back home where everyone loves me and I'd have a better chance of starting a career as a famous person."

"No one likes you!" Jade bitterly commentated.

"Do you have a place to stay?" Sinjin inquired.

"Well, I went back to our old house but Mom and Dad sold it to some yuppie couple and I thought I'd stay with my baby sister."

"Trina, have you seen this house?" Tori questioned. "You used to make fun of houses these small."

"So that's a yes?"

"No! It's a three bedroom house with a disgusting basement. There is no room for you."

"You've got two girls, make them share a room."

"I have a girl and a boy."

"Tony's a boy?"

"Yeah!"

"I thought it was like Tony with an 'I' at the end."

"No. Plus, you've got Cool now, you need space for him."

"You're welcome to stay with me Trina," Sinjin suggested. Lane, who was drinking, started to choke on his food. "Something wrong Lane?"

"Sinjin, you live with me," Lane reminded.

Trina seemed disgusted by this. "Ew, why?"

"I moved in with Lane after my house caught on fire and killed my family. No other van Cleef took me in, so Lane was nice enough to do that. He was also nice enough to take in Sikowitz after he got kicked out of Troubled Waters for the third time."

"But there would be no room for Trina and her son at my place," Lane pointed out.

"There would be if someone was willing to let Sikowitz move in with them."

Cat excitedly raised her hand. "Ooh, ooh, we'll let Sikowitz stay with us."

Robbie gave his wife a surprised look. "We will?"

"Yeah, Sikowitz is fun."

"Plus with Sikowitz at your place you and Robbie can get out and spend some time on your own," Beck inputted.

"Ooh, yeah. Come on Robbie let Sikowitz stay with us!"

Robbie thought this through. "Sikowitz was a teacher; maybe he could teach Sophie some things about acting…or even teach her about the history of when he was younger. Yeah, sure why not; this could be a beneficial learning experience."

Sikowitz looked at Robbie with surprise. "I was once a teacher?"

Lane sighed. "If you do let Sikowitz stay with you I'll have to give you a list of his medications, when he has to take them, how much he has to take, then I'd have to give you his emergency pacemaker, his hearing aid in case he needs it, his reading glasses, his…" suddenly the lights all went out, "What happened?"

"Your mouth used up all the power," Jade snarked at him.

"Tori, do you have a flashlight?" Sinjin asked.

"Yeah, I keep one on top of my dresser in my bedroom," Tori replied. "I'll let you get it if you promise not to touch anything."

"I can't even see anything."

"MOM! DAD! MOM, DAD WHAT HAPPENED?" Noah was freaking out and was pacing back and forth in terror.

"Noah, chill out," Jade tried to calm down her son, "everything's gonna be alright."

"You know I don't like the dark!"

Robbie searched for his daughter in the dark. "Sophie, this is a blackout. A blackout is a temporary interruption in the electrical supply of a household or place of business."

"Tori," Beck was stumbling in the dark, "is there a switch or something?"

"What about the box thing that controls the electric stuff?" Tori inquired.

"I think I have the flashlight," Sinjin was exiting Tori's bedroom and heading into the living room. Flipping on a switch, the result was a buzzing noise instead of a light. "What the-" when the lights came back on, everyone- kids included- discovered that Sinjin wasn't holding a flashlight.

"OH MY GOD!" Tori was horrified when she saw Sinjin holding a certain vibrating device designed to look like a certain male body part. The horrified look on her daughter's face confirmed that Tori wasn't the only one embarrassed by this.

"Daddy, what was that?" Eden asked her father, who happened to be standing beside his former acting teacher.

"It was…" Beck tried to find something to lie about, "…it was an electric ear cleaner."

"It was kinda big."

"It sure was," Sikowitz agreed.

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, I'm sure you all figured out what it was. In the original scene Steve Martin found it in the blackout and just kept howling with laughter and his daughter asked the mother what it was. I figured, Jade's character is honest and might point blankly tell her child, so I gave that small dialogue to Beck and let Sinjin find Tori's…electronic device.<strong>

**Now that I've brought up all the characters; I thought I'd give a list for those who seen this movie to confirm who I filled in what role.**

**Gil: Beck**

**Karen: Jade**

**Helen: Tori**

**Larry: Trina**

**Nathan: Robbie**

**Susan: Cat**

**Andre: Mr. Bowman**

**and as I said, Sikowitz and Lane (and I guess Sinjin in a way) sort of fill the roles of the parents- Frank & Marilyn- and Grandma. I mean, even though none of the main characters are related (except Tori and Trina) I still couldn't keep out those characters because they're pretty essential roles and they gave me an excuse to use Lane, Sinjin, and Sikowitz in this story.**

**And Noah, Eden, Damien, Annie, Tony, Sophie, Cool, and Max are my original characters I used for the roles of the kids (Kevin, Taylor, Justin, Julie, Garry, Patty, Cool, and Tod respectively)**

**Hope this will clear things up for the future.**


	3. Tension is Building

**Again for the record, the only adult siblings in here are Tori and Trina; they all just act like one big family.**

**Moving on**

* * *

><p>Beck pulled into the school parking lot and he and his wife got out of the car. "You ready?"<p>

"I still don't see what the big flippin' deal is," Jade was wearing large sunglasses over her eyes. "Once those idiots figure out that we're not screwed up, they'll realize our kids aren't screwed up and leave us the hell alone." She practically tore open the doors. "I hate meeting with authorities anyway."

"You know, maybe we could be wrong."

"I'm never wrong."

"There might be a slight chance that there's absolutely nothing wrong and this is good news. Who knows, maybe they wanna up our kid another grade or something special." Beck turned to the principal's secretary. "Hi, Beck and Jade Oliver we have an appointment with Principal Brown."

"Go right ahead, she's been expecting you," the secretary allowed them in.

"Thanks." Beck and Jade entered to find that Principal Brown was someone they had been acquainted with in the past. "Helen?"

Their former principal at Hollywood Arts stared at them. "Yes, it's me. If you don't mind sitting down I'll get straight to the point." The couple sat in the two chairs across from her desk. "Let me start by saying I think we should be very careful about Noah's educational environment."

"Well, yeah."

"With that in mind, I don't think Noah should come back here next fall. I recommend that he be transferred to a school that offers special education classes."

Beck noticed Jade was trying to hold back rage. He held her clenched fist with her hand. "Are you saying this because he's like super smart or something?"

"A class for children with emotional problems."

The door opened behind them and a man stepped in. "Am I late?" a man asked.

"You're on time," Helen acknowledged the man's presence. "This is Dr. Parper, a psychologist originally from Seattle who relocated to Los Angeles for better job opportunities. He has been observing Noah for the last couple of months."

"Why?" Beck was dumbfounded. "Why has this guy been watching our son?"

"This is a public school Mr. Oliver with thirty plus kids to a class. Noah's teacher spends at least twenty-five percent of her time dealing with Noah and the class is gonna finish the year behind- which isn't fair."

"Not that there's anything wrong with your son in general," Dr. Parper interjected. "He's a sweet boy; but he's very sensitive and extremely tense who needs some special attention."

"It's 'cause he was first," Jade spoke under her breath.

"Beg pardon?"

"It's because Noah was firstborn," Jade removed her sunglasses and set them in her jean pocket. "I mean, we had him kinda young and we were real protective of him and I'm sure there was some tension and sensitivity he learned from us or something. But by the time we had the other two kids we just eased up and let them do whatever."

"It's a theory. There is another strong theory that Noah might've been like this in utero. Studies have shown these things are chemical."

Beck hated to do what he was about to do, but he loved his son and he didn't want to come off as a bad parent. "Jade smoked weed!"

"Oh no," Jade angrily stood to his level. "Don't try to show me off as the bad parent. You know as well as I do that I stopped smoking that crap after you knocked me up!"

"But for all those years you did, you were like a chimney- I thought you were gonna join a reggae band at one point!"

"Beck!"

"There might've been some…some…chromosomal issues."

"You're a chromosomal issue!" They got a look at the principal and the psychologist. "Sorry," Jade huffed as she sat down.

"I guess we're just a little thrown off by this."

"Mr. and Mrs. Oliver you shouldn't look at Noah going to a special school as any kind of failure on your part," Dr. Parper assured.

"No, I'll blame the imaginary dog."

"This educational environment would be sensitive to his needs and-"

"Look, I'm not gonna send my son to a special school. People today, especially kids, can treat people in special schools really cruel and I'm not gonna subject Noah to that kind of cruelty. If worse comes to worst, we'll send him to a private school no matter what the cost."

"Mr. Oliver, this kind of problem won't just go away."

"Then we'll send him to a private therapist. My wife and I know it's a problem, we're aware of it, but keep in mind that _we_ are Noah's parents. We can handle this."

"Alright," Helen gave him, "we've got a little over four months until the next school year. Let's see what can be accomplished. You can go now."

"Gladly!" Jade sprung out of her seat and angrily stormed off leaving her husband behind.

"Thank you for your time," Beck thanked Helen and Dr. Parper and went to the parking lot where he found his wife crying. "Babe?"

Jade didn't bother wiping away any tears. "I feel like this is my fault."

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Beck pulled her close. "We're gonna help him."

"I really appreciate how you took charge in there."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I never tell you this, but you're like Superdad and I could never ask for a better guy to have kids with than you."

"Ditto," they kissed each other. "How bout we go out for lunch? You in the mood for some tacos?"

"Oh I'm in the mood alright. Come on Superdad, let's go home and you can show me your powers in the bedroom."

He handed her the car keys. "You drive."

…

Later that day, Annie and Max were about to pick up their photos- the photos that had recorded their love those few days ago. "It would've been so much easier if you had a digital camera," Annie protested. "That way you could've transferred the files onto your computer and we wouldn't have to pick them up in public."

"Yeah, but I don't have a digital camera or a computer," Max reminded. "Your Mom doesn't even use a digital camera."

"That's because we only had one camera and our Dad kept it in the divorce and she never got around to buying another one. So what, I still think we shouldn't have to do this the way old people did in the 90's before the internet, or anything cool."

"Yeah, but sending the pics off to be developed makes the wait to see 'em so much more worth it. But was it really a good idea to tell the guy at the counter the last name we wanna use is 'Vega'?"

"It's not my last name, it's not your last name, and nobody would've known it was us. Look, he's coming with our pics!" The man behind the counter handed them a concealed envelope that held their pictures. The boyfriend tried to snatch the photos away from the girlfriend. "Max!"

"I need to see!"

"Max!" He held the pictures up over his head, him being taller than her. She tried repeatedly jumping to get them, even throwing herself into his arms to catch him by surprise and make him drop them. It didn't work, and they just ended up having a mini makeout session.

Max practically tore open the envelope and pulled out the pictures. "What the hell?"

"It's the party celebrating my Mom's promotion. Here," Annie took the pictures and went back to the counter. "Hi, excuse me!" She got the clerk's attention. "This is the wrong order, this is my mother's. Is there another order under the name 'Vega'?"

The clerk typed on the computer. "Nope, sorry, that order was picked up already."

"By who?"

Who else? Expecting to find images of her and her co-workers celebrating a worthwhile event, Tori Vega was stunned to find another set of images that pretty much celebrated something else that seemed worthwhile-at least according to the few glimpses of pleasure she caught on their faces. Tori looked up as Annie quietly entered the front door. "Hi, Mom," Annie solemnly greeted.

Tori held up the photo she was looking at. "I…I think this one is my favorite."

"It was just for fun, Mom."

"Well I'm glad to know it's not a job. It's that Max right? Yep, here's one where you can see his face."

"Is that what bothers you? That I did those things or that I did them with Max?"

"Gee Annie, there are so many things that bother me about this, I don't even know where to begin." Tori flipped through the images. "Ooh, here's something for my wallet."

"Max is very important to me."

"And we've got the pictures to prove it."

"Mom!"

Tori held up the pictures. "This is your room, Annie. You did these things in my house?"

"You know, someone in this house oughta be having sex…I mean with something that doesn't require batteries," Annie headed off to her room.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?" Annie slammed the door as Tori sprang up and followed her. She tried to open Annie's door, but it was locked. "Dammit Annie, open this door!" Tori stomped her foot. "I'd just like a little respect; not a lot, just a little. And if you must know why I'm having sex with machinery it's because your father left to have a party and I stayed to raise his two kids," Tori started angrily jumping up and down like a child throwing a tantrum, "and I have no life!" Annie barged out of her room carrying an overnight bag and a few purses. "What are you doing?"

"I'm leaving before we say things we'll regret."

"You're gonna say something worse than the battery remark?"

"Max and I are in love, not puppy love, real love, true love. He's my life and I need him."

"Oh give me just a small break."

"You just can't handle it. Max's working now, we'll find our own place."

Annie's brother entered the house. "Hi, Tony," Tori tried to be positive around her son.

"Hi," Tony brushed past them without interest.

"I'm moving out Tony," Annie informed.

"Whatever, bye" Tony just went into his room and shut the door.

"See that!" Tori pointed toward Tony's room. "You've upset your brother!" Annie just rolled her eyes. "Annie, if you walk out of this house against my wishes don't ever think about coming back."

"Fine," and with that Annie exited her home with the slamming of the door.

Both mother and daughter paused for a moment to reflect. Tori managed to catch a glance of Annie outside. "Annie!" Annie continued walking. "Annie!" Tori was standing on the porch. "Honey, I'm always here if you need me! Sweetie, be careful. And if you need anything just call me!" Tori watched her daughter until Annie was out of sight. "Bye," Tori quietly waved to thin air.

…

"Trina, can I show you something?" Ever since Trina moved in, Sinjin seemed more excited.

"Whatever," she followed him outside and he took her to the garage. "Why are we out here?"

"You know how you keep complaining about my car not being big enough?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, that's not my only car," Sinjin pulled white tarp off of a beautiful antique car. "Ta-da!"

"Dang, that looks…old."

"My dad loved classic cars and this was one of the things that survived the fire. Lane was nice enough to let me store it in his garage. My dad was said the first time he got laid was in a car like this, but I don't really know what he means by that."

"Trina," Lane made his way into the garage, "Cool just finished lunch."

"I'll call the newspapers," Trina seemed uninterested.

"I was thinking maybe you could take him around and show him the city."

"Just plop him down in front of the TV, I'm sure that'll keep him entertained." Lane sighed and went back into the house. "Hey Sinjin, you like me don't you?"

"Yes!" Sinjin was quick to answer.

"Well if you really like me do you think you could loan me…oh…three thousand dollars?"

"Three thousand dollars?"

"I knew you liked me!" Trina gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Oh, but I need that in cash," she hurried off back into the house and left an awestruck Sinjin standing there rubbing his cheek.

…

Robbie was kneeling and holding up a rubber chest protector in front of him as Sophie demonstrated her marital arts skills (and even a few Japanese terms) to Sikowitz. After what seemed like a successful demonstration, Robbie tousled his daughter's hair and turned to his former acting instructor. "See Sikowitz, Sophie studies Eastern Philosophy; our future leaders should be much more in tune with Oriental studies."

"Oriental?" Sikowitz seemed confused. "Isn't Oriental that stacked cookie with the cream in the center?"

"Sure, Sikowitz."

"I can't help but notice you divert your time and attention toward your offspring, as if she was once that puppet you used to carry around."

"I disagree with you. Rex was merely a way for me to socially please the masses in fear that the crowd would reject my true self. Sophie is my daughter, and I'm trying to give her a better, more fulfilling life that I never had in hopes that when she grows older she'll be more accepted than I ever was."

"Cat never rejected your true self you know."

"I know, that's one of the reasons I married her."

"Good Gandhi, you and Cat are married? I thought you lived together as friends and she bore you a child because you were destined to live forever alone."

"Again, not true."

"So you're not a homosexual?"

"Sikowitz!"

Sophie inquisitively looked at her father. "Daddy, what's a homosexual?"

"I'll tell you what that means when you've reached a more mature age." Robbie held the protective gear in front of him and kneeled down to Sophie's level as Cat's car pulled into the driveway. "Okay Sophie, one more practice round. Give it all you got, sweetheart."

"Robbie," Cat called to her husband from her car, "guess what?"

Robbie turned his head, lowering the protective gear as he faced his wife. "Hey Kitty Cat, you're home early."

"I have good news."

"Cool beans." Sophie's sudden exclamation made Robbie turn his head for a quick second, and in that quick second his daughter had knocked him onto the ground with a swift punch in the face.

Sikowitz found this very amusing. "Oh, the child is a gifted young thing."

Cat helped Robbie up. "Sikowitz, could you watch Sophie for a minute while I go talk to Robbie?"

"Yes, by all means, communicate with your mate."

"Mate?" both spouses found that term strange coming from Sikowitz, but they shrugged it off and headed upstairs and into their bedroom.

"So, what's up?" Robbie inquired.

"I'm going to teach summer school classes, which means we'll have vacation money," Cat was approaching her husband with a hint of desire.

"That's great," he gave her a kiss.

"Mexico?"

"Sí, sí." They gave each other another kiss.

"So we're all set to leave in July, but I just wanna call Beck and Jade and make sure they can still take Sophie."

Robbie sucked air through his teeth while making the 'tsk' noise. "I dunno, I'm not too keen on Sophie spending a week with Beck and Jade."

"Why? They said they would. And if she stayed there she's gonna share a room with Eden." Cat gasped. "You don't like Beck and Jade anymore?"

"It's not that I don't like them, I do. Beck and Jade are just a little laidback and lighthearted about things that I…I mean things that you and I consider important when it comes to child rearing."

"But Sophie had fun the last time we left her with them. She was playing with them on their mini playground, she was eating sugar, she was…she was like we were when we were younger; don't you remember what that was like Robbie?"

"Hey I've got an idea; why don't we take Sophie with us?"

"To Mexico?"

"It's a perfect opportunity to get her started on Spanish." Cat just stood there stunned. "Come on, it'll be fun."

"Robbie…I thought it'd be nice if you and I could be alone, you know just the two of us."

"We will be, we'll get two rooms," he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and hurried off to find his daughter.

"Which one will I be in?" While Robbie was heading off to start teaching Sophie Spanish, Cat opened her bedroom closet and reached for a shoebox she kept hidden behind things. Inside the shoebox was an assortment of junk food and sweets (something Robbie didn't like to keep in the house). Finding a chocolate cupcake, she unwrapped the wrapper in a small fit, and shoved the cupcake in her mouth much to her delight. Once the cupcake was gone, she looked at a photo of her husband on the bedroom wall and gave his image a smug, defiant look. "Yeah, I ate a cupcake. What now, Robbie Shapiro?"

* * *

><p><strong>I don't know about you guys, but I want a cupcake now.<strong>

**Yes, things are getting more dramatic, but isn't there drama in every family life. I'm sure things will get settled and a little less complicated for the families as time goes on. But for now, just enjoy the drama.**

**Oh, and if anyone's wondering, that scene with Beck and Jade in the parking lot after visiting with Noah's principal is a scene of my own creation. And it has a purpose, it's not only there just because people were asking for more Bade scenes…**

…**though people asking for more Bade might have a tiny contribution to that scene.**


	4. Revelations

**I doesn't have nothing to say [and yes, I'm aware that's a grammatical fail].**

**Shall we move on?**

* * *

><p>A few weeks had passed and things still weren't getting any better. One Friday afternoon, Beck decided to spend some quality time with Noah. He left work early and took his son to a popular arcade.<p>

"Come on, get this guy!" he was encouraging his son to fight some villain in one of those typical violent games that his son desperately wanted to play (something he most likely inherited from his mother). The two of them watched in disappointment as Noah lost the game. "Well, they're bad dudes…that's why they call this game _Bad Dudes_. Wanna go another round?" Noah shook his head no. "Alright, I'm gonna get us some snacks."

"Dad," Noah started as his father was approaching the concession stand.

"Yeah?"

"How come I'm seeing a psychiatrist?"

This question resulted in other game-goers giving Beck inquiring looks. Beck ignored them and went back to his son. "We were gonna have a talk about that later."

Noah was getting tense. "What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you."

"Then how come-"

"Noah, you're a kid just like I was, and you have a lot of worries. The psychiatrist is good at helping people with their worries, and she's helping you with yours. It's nothing to feel bad about. Just remember you're a great kid and your mother and I love you very much. Okay?"

"Okay."

"And I think this is gonna be a great summer for you. Plus your birthday's coming up soon, and we're gonna have a great party."

"Can we have Cowboy Dave?"

"Who?"

"Cowboy Dave, the gun-fighting balloon man; he was at Jason's party and he's really cool."

"Done deal! You want Cowboy Dave at your party and you're gonna have Cowboy Dave at your party."

"Alright!"

"Oh, what do you say when you see a cute eight year old girl walk by?"

Noah raised his eyebrow suggestively, lowered his voice, and said with a flirty tone, "How you doin'?"

"That's my boy! Just…just don't tell your mom I taught you that."

…

While Trina was off somewhere, Sinjin and Lane were spending time with Cool. After eating lunch, Sinjin decided to show Cool what he had shown Trina.

"Wow!" Cool was impressed by the car.

"You like it?" Sinjin asked.

"Yeah, it's real shiny."

"Good. This car was once my Dad's and then he...gave it to me."

"Will you give it to me later?"

"Sure, why not."

"Does that mean you're my dad now, Sinjin?"

Sinjin suppressed a gulp and started nervously rubbing the back of his neck. "Gee, I don't know if I can answer that." Much to his surprise, he didn't have to. The sound of squealing tires were fast approaching. The car the tires belonged to stopped in the middle of the street, and then Trina was forced out of the back seat. Once she was out, the car sped away. "Trina?"

"Oh, hey Sinjin, what up Dude?"

"What just happened?"

"Oh, just some of my friends dropping me off."

"Friends? If they were really your friends then you wouldn't have gotten out of the car like that."

"Isn't that how your friends treat you?"

"Well yeah, but that's because I'm creepy."

"Then I guess I'm creepy too," Trina headed back into the house laughing.

"Hey Mom," Cool tried to catch up to his mother. "Mom, I-"

"Yeah, I really don't care right now can this wait?"

"Okay, Mom." Cool didn't bother to go inside when his mother did.

Sinjin took notice of this and felt as though paternal instincts were kicking in. "Cool, why don't we go play some catch or something?"

"You play catch?"

"No, maybe you can teach me."

…

"I dunno, Andre," Tori was talking on the phone, "I mean, as great as that sounds you have to understand I'm a mother now and…" a police car pulled into Tori's driveway, "…and the cops just pulled into my driveway. I'll call you back." Tori stepped outside where one an officer approached her.

"You Chief David's daughter Tori?"

"Yes, is there something wrong?"

"Chief said to drop her off here."

"Her?"

"We found this young lady panhandling and brought her into police custody. Chief David said this was his granddaughter and made us drop her off here."

Another police officer let Annie out of the backseat of the squad car. "Annie?"

"Hi Mom," Annie was on the verge of tears. "I was wondering if I could come home."

"Always," Annie ran into her mother's arms. "Thank you Officers, I got it from here. Tell my dad I said hi." Tori took Annie inside and mother and daughter sat on the couch. Instantly, Annie started bawling. "Oh Annie, Honey, why would you be panhandling?"

"I needed money, and I wasn't gonna prostitute. I needed at least twenty bucks for a place to stay."

"Did you leave that Max?"

"Yes," Annie responded bitterly when she heard his name. "He promised me he was gonna start a house-painting business after he got fired from _Burger Barn_, but then he said he changed his mind. He didn't even have a mind to begin with! Max decided he was gonna race dragsters with his brothers, and he can't even drive a regular car! We got into a fight about it and he said 'No bitch is gonna tell me what to do'," Annie started sobbing again. "He told me he loved me."

"Sweetie, guys say things like that and never mean it. What did you expect from someone like Max?"

"Mom, lay off; the last guy you dated stole our furniture." Annie took a deep breath. "Men are scum."

"Yeah, Honey, men are scum." Tori and Annie noticed Tony was standing in the hallway (most likely out of curiosity as to why the cops were there). Tori smiled at him. "Hi, Tony." Tony said nothing and hurried to the door. "Tony, Annie's home."

"Great," Tony said that with bitterness in his tone.

"I don't know why I try," Tori said after he left. "Come on Annie, let's go eat lots of ice cream."

"I'm not in the mood for ice cream," Annie informed Tori.

"Okay, how 'bout you and I get some _McDonald's_ and we go see a movie with tons of romance."

"Sounds good, Mom."

"I was thinking we'd see that new movie with-"

The front door of the house flew open. "ANNIE!"

"Max?"

Max had ran right past them, and turned back around. "I'd thought I'd find you here."

Annie scowled at him. "What does that make you Sherlock Holmes, I live here."

"You live with me."

"I wouldn't live with you if the world was flooded with piss and you lived in a tree." Annie brushed past him. "Excuse me; I'm going to the movies." She started to run.

So Max chased after her. "You're not leavin' til you hear what I have to say." He managed to flag her down and get a hold of her. "Annie!"

"Let go of me!"

"Annie, baby, hear me out."

Tori had enough of this, she picked up the newspaper from her porch, ran over to the commotion, and started whacking Max repeatedly with the paper. "Let her go and leave her alone!"

"Please Ms. Vega, I love her."

"Let her go!" Tori continued whacking him.

"Annie, you can't run out on me you're my wife!"

"If you don't let her go I'm gonna…" Tori heard the last part of that statement and stopped. "Annie, you're his what?"

Annie brushed her hair back. "His wife; we got married a couple days ago."

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?" This time Annie was the one repeatedly getting whacked with the newspaper.

"Mom! Mom, knock it off!"

"Ms. Vega, stop!" Max somehow got Tori to stop. "Annie, I didn't mean what I said," he was on his knees and holding Annie's hands. "I'm sorry. My brothers were egging me and I couldn't back down. Last night I told 'em off. I told them they mean nothing, and you mean everything."

Annie smiled at him. "Oh, Max."

Tori put her hand on her forehead and groaned. "Oh, Christ."

…

Things seemed better at the Shapiro house it seemed. It was as if nothing happened and everything was back to normal.

Cat was sitting in her pink nightgown in bed reading something while Robbie was in their bathroom. "Robbie?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think it's appropriate to let seventh graders see the movie _Ghostbusters_?

"Um, I'm not sure."

"Well, Craig Kotter, the social studies teacher, is in charge of picking the movie for the entire seventh grade to watch on the last day of school and he was open to suggestions."

"And he picked that?"

"No, he picked _Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory_. John Eikner, the science teacher, suggested _Ghostbusters_ and they got into a fight. Then 'cause I was the only teacher in the lounge they asked me which I liked?"

"Which one did you pick?"

"Neither, I picked _Dumbo_!" She didn't get an instant response. "Robbie? Robbie, is everything okay?"

Robbie stepped out of the bathroom looking perturbed and he was carrying something in his hand. "Well?"

Cat looked at him confused. "Are you holding my birth control pills?"

"I couldn't help but notice these were open and sitting on the sink, Caterina." It was never a good sign when Cat was being called by her real name. "You think you're so sneaky don't you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you haven't been taking your pills! You're going and jeopardizing our plan. Don't you remember what we read; 'A vast majority of truly exceptional people are either only children or first born with a five year separation between sibs'. Cat we agreed—"

"No, _you_ agreed," Cat had had enough. "And they're not 'sibs' they're babies and I wanna have another one."

"So you go behind my back by not using your form of birth control?"

"Because you won't discuss having another baby anymore!"

"I did discuss it with you years ago!"

"Well, I think we were wrong."

"Well, I think we were right. And I'm not discussing it again. I figure this now means that I'll be sleeping in the second guest room," he grabbed a pillow and left the room with a door slam.

Cat buried her face in her pillow and sobbed as Sikowitz knocked on her door and entered her room. "I couldn't help but hear the loudness. I didn't know your name was Caterina." Cat tried to compose herself. "Tell Sikowitz what's wrong."

"Well, the music teacher just had a baby a while ago," Cat began, "and she brought her new baby in to show everybody. When I saw her baby…I just…I wanted to snatch it up and take it home like my brother once did, but that's a bad thing to do. I looked at the baby and I realized that I wanted another one really, really bad."

"And I'm sure you and your mate will produce another offspring when the time comes." Sikowitz patted her back. "Ooh, mints," he reached for one of Cat's pills, "mints with days of the weeks for some reason."

"Sikowitz, those aren't-"

"And this one says Saturday," he removed the one labeled 'Saturday' and put it in his mouth. "Delicious."

* * *

><p><strong>Yes, I skipped a scene- it's intentional. The scene after Helen finds out her daughter's married is the little league game scene, and then it's the scene with Nathan &amp; Susan's argument. I'm gonna put that in the next chapter because I have a structure going. A scene with Beck and Jade's family, a scene with Tori's family, a scene with Cat and Robbie's family, and a scene involving Trina or Sinjin or Lane. If the movie doesn't follow this structure, I'll either go out of scene or create a short little scene with the omitted family. Does everyone understand? But if there's like a big get-together (like the dinner or Kevin's birthday) where all the families are there, then that's just one long chapter.<strong>

**And I'm trying to find a way to sneak Andre in here. His character barely has a part, but Andre is a main character and I wish I could use him more. I'll sneak him in scenes as much as I could whether he makes an appearance or he's just mentioned.**

**Til then, just enjoy me keeping with canon to this hilarious movie- even trying to add in my own moments (like the Sikowitz scene at the end). And any feedback is good so feel free to leave some.**


	5. Growing Pains

**One of my absolute favorite scenes in the movie is where Gil has a fantasy sequence about Kevin after the little league game (not the one before the game starts, the one after the game ends). I can't wait to put that in here.**

**Shout out to teezee! Thanks for the fanfic love and I do suggest in your case that you see the movie after this ends so that you can do what I do and point out 'yeah, I knew that was supposed to happen'.**

**In this chapter, because there was only a scene with Gil and Helen's families, I've created two of my own scenes for the other families. Hope no one minds.**

* * *

><p>Opting to spend more time with his son as any good father should, Beck signed himself up to coach Noah's little league team (no one else wanted the job anyway). "Gather round for practice boys!" He called for the team to play a practice game before the opposing time showed up. "Field first," by this he meant they would first practice when the team would not be batting. "Andy," he gestured to the pitcher, "this is just practice don't throw 'em so hard. Heads up, when I call your name, I'm gonna be batting toward you." Beck readied that bat. "Jake!" Andy threw the ball, Beck hit it, and the ball went toward the kid on first base. Jake caught the ball and threw it back to Beck. "Good job. Davey!" Beck hit the ball toward the right fielder, but Davey missed. "That's okay, but try not to be afraid of the ball! Kyle!" Beck directed this next one to the second base boy. "You're next; don't be afraid to get down on it, it ain't gonna hurt ya." Beck hit the ball, there was a hit, and then Kyle fell to the ground in agony. "Davey, get Kyle some ice." Beck gestured for the boys to meet him in the dugout. "Okay, we're gonna need a new second baseman, any volunteers? Any of you outfielders?" No response. "How 'bout you Noah? Wanna play second base?"<p>

Noah nervously looked around. "Um, okay."

That Jake kid let out an exasperated groan. "Jake, we're a team; support each other or I'll have you thrown out for unsportsmanlike conduct."

Jake scowled at Beck. "What does that mean?"

"Be nice, or you don't play you little weasel. Alright boys, let's get out there and show 'em what we got!" the boys cheered and ran out onto the field. Beck stopped his son when he noticed Noah's tense face. "Hey Noah, we're playing for fun okay. Just go on out there and play; what you catch you catch and what you miss you miss. It's no big deal, okay; just have fun."

"Okay, Dad," Noah ran out to take his place as second baseman.

Beck watched with pride as Noah caught a low ball and threw it back to Andy. "Way to go Noah!" He smiled to himself as he began to think (well, more like fantasize) about the future.

_A college dean was standing at a podium outside. "Now it is with great pleasure that I introduce our class valedictorian…Noah Oliver."_

_Everyone started cheering as an older Noah shook the dean's hand and stood at the podium. "Thanks. You know, there was a point in my life where things were pretty rough and everyone thought I was pretty messed up. Except for one person; the one person who got me through it all by doing everything right. Thanks to him, I'm the most happy, most confident, and most well-adjusted person in this world." Older Noah looked into the audience. "Dad, you're the greatest, and I love you."_

_By this point everyone was clapping as an older, more distinguished looking Beck stood up in the crowd and wiped away tears of joy._

And then reality set in as the visiting team arrived and the game was on. When it was nearing the end, it seemed as though it was anybody's games. Noah's team took field for the last inning. "One more out, guys! Let's go, let's go!" Beck encouraged from behind the chain-link gate.

"Hey Beck," one of the fathers (Jake's father to be exact) was standing at the gate watching the team, "the boys finally gonna win one game?"

"Way to be supportive, Chad." The fathers went back to watching the game as the batter hit the ball, an outfielder caught it, threw it to Noah, Noah caught it, but the runner was deemed 'safe'. Beck sighed as another batter came up to the plate. "Please God, let the boys win one game," he quietly whispered. The opposing boy hit the ball, and it headed right for Noah.

"I got it!" Noah shouted as he put his glove up. As the ball came flying down, it landed on Noah's glove, but then bounced off. The crowd then started to moan and boo as the opposing boys ran home.

"NO!" Chad was upset by this. "That kid had no business being out there! No business!"

Jake threw his glove down in anger. "You suck, Oliver!"

While everyone left the field, Noah stood there staring down at the ground. Beck sighed and went over to his son. "Noah-"

Noah looked up at him upset and crying. "Why'd you make me play second base?" He stormed past his father stifling sobs.

Beck watched his son leave crying in anger and another fantasy popped into his mind.

_Shots were being fired as a bunch of college kids were running around campus in fear. The shots were from a machine gun, then there was a grenade tossed at a bike rack._

_A girl crouched in fear. "Someone's on the top of the roof with a machine gun and a rifle!"_

_The same dean from the first fantasy was running in her direction. "It's Noah Oliver! His father totally screwed him up."_

_Another random guy ran up beside the dean. "Looks like he's about to say something!"_

_Although he wasn't quite so clear, it could be determined Noah was standing on the roof holding a machine gun. "YOU MADE ME PLAY SECOND BASE!" He lowered the gun and took more shots._

_The older Beck was standing next to a cop car with a megaphone to his mouth. "Noah, I'm sorry; I did the best I could." A bullet hit the megaphone out of Beck's hand. "NICE SHOT SON!" Beck tilted his head toward a cop. "It's important to be supportive. COME ON NOAH LET'S SING ONE OF THE OLD TUNES!" The cop pulled Beck toward the car as Beck sang, "When you're sliding into home and your pants are full of foam, diarrhea, diarrhea."_

Once that ended, Beck went to where the baseball rested, picked it up, stood in the diamond and sighed before going back to the dugout to comfort his upset son.

…

Sophie Shapiro stood at her living room window watching as other kids about her age on her street were outside playing.

"Hi sweetie," Cat kneeled beside her daughter and gave her a hug. "Whatcha looking at?"

Sophie pointed to the kids outside. "What are those kids doing, Mommy?"

"They're playing. Do you know what that means?"

"How are they playing?"

"What do you mean, Honey?"

"They don't have playing cards or a timer to answer questions like when Daddy and I play."

"That's 'cause Daddy plays bored games with you. Those kids are playing by…by using their imagination."

"How?"

Cat stood up and took her daughter's hand. "Come on, let's you and I go play."

"Can we play _Trivial Pursuit_?"

"No, we're gonna go to a playground. Go on; get on some play clothes in case you get messy."

After a quick change, Cat and her daughter walked to the local playground. They spent some time there, most of that time Cat was trying to teach her daughter how to use the certain things (having most of the fun in the process). But in the end, it didn't seem to work. Sophie was questioning how things worked, what the kids were doing, why the kids were doing what they were doing, among other little details.

And when they arrived home and Cat saw that Robbie was back (as was Sikowitz, who had went with Robbie) and seemed to be waiting for them.

"Where were you?" Robbie asked.

Cat tried not to get defensive around the little girl. "Sophie, why don't you go inside and do something?"

"KK," the little brunette ran inside.

Robbie had his arms folded. "Well?"

"I took Sophie to the playground," Cat wasn't going to lie to her husband.

"What?"

"You know what Robbie, I really don't want a lecture. But I know you, so just get it all out now."

Robbie sighed. "Cat, you know how I feel about play areas."

"Just because _you_ had bad experiences with them doesn't mean Sophie will."

"It's not that I'm most upset about. What's upsetting me the most that you're going behind my back and going against everything that we agreed was best for our child."

"Robbie-"

"It was my idea," Sikowitz lied.

"Sikowitz, what are you doing?"

"I take full responsibility in suggesting that Cat take your child socializing. I feel it'd be best if the child learned to be…well, a child."

"Sikowitz-"

"Sikowitz," Robbie began, "you're an awesome guy but you don't have any right to interfere with how Cat and I raise our daughter. I'm also not too keen on your teaching methods around her either. I think it's best that maybe we find you another place to stay."

"Robbie!" Cat objected to this.

"No, no!" Sikowitz calmly protested. "I understand. If you can make some other living arrangements for me, I will go quietly."

"I'll go call Tori, and see if she can let you stay with her in her basement." Robbie headed into the house.

Cat stared at Sikowitz. "You didn't have to do that for me."

"Can I tell you something?" Sikowitz asked. Cat nodded in curiosity. "I have spent time with young Sophie and she is a very intuitive child."

"Thanks…I think."

"She can sense when there's something wrong and she can be very sensitive. If there's ever tension between you and Robbie she knows, and she can hear what goes on you know. She has confided in me that she feels things are her fault."

"She has?"

"Yes, but then I change the subject and I teach her more about acting...which by the way, she could have a serious career in."

"Is there something I should do?"

"I know it's hard, but if Robbie won't agree with you, agree with him."

"I don't know if I can keep doing that."

"You love him don't you?"

"I do," Cat let out a small tear, "I always have."

"Yes, that was blatantly obvious those years ago."

"I just wish he would love me…at least like the way he did."

"I'm sure he does, but you brought a child into this world together, a piece of the two of you that I'm sure he thought would never be…keep in mind the boy was a socially awkward freak who instantly repelled the opposite sex- now that I think about it, he repelled men too. The more time he spends with her, the more he loves her. Try spending more time with him and I'm sure you'll get the same effect.

"Thanks Sikowitz. This really isn't like you to give advice without being all spazzy."

"I ran out of coconut milk."

"Ah."

…

The next morning (Monday) at Tori's, Tori was getting ready for work. "Max!" Max was now living with her and Annie at Tori's house.

"What up Ms. V?"

"You want me to cook you breakfast?"

"Naw, Annie's gonna cook!"

Tori rolled her eyes. "Great, I'll alert the fire department." She left her room and headed down the hall. "See you guys at dinner." The sound of a razor made her turn her head to the open bathroom door. "SWEET JESUS!" Max had shaved off most of his hair, and had most of Annie's shaved off too (with the exception of the hair she kept in a small ponytail). "What the hell, are you joining the Marines?"

Annie bit her lip trying not to laugh (unlike Max). "I knew you'd freak out."

"Just clean up the hair," after Tori said that Annie and Max were laughing hysterically. While getting stuff ready in the kitchen, it seemed Tony was close to approaching her. "Hey Tony, need a ride to school?"

"No," he quietly answered.

"Want some breakfast?"

"How long are they gonna be living here?"

"If we're lucky, not much longer. Why?"

"I was thinking that it's getting kinda crowded here."

"Well there's more room now that they shaved their heads," Tori smiled at her humorous observation.

"I was thinking maybe I could stay with Dad for a while."

Tori couldn't help but stare in surprise. "What?"

"I've been here for a long time, maybe I should stay with him for a while."

"You wanna live with your father?"

"Kinda."

"And you talked to him about this?"

"Not yet, I thought I'd call him."

"Tony, you don't know your father like I do."

"I don't know him at all. What's his number?"

"Well…he'd be at work at right now. Are you sure you wanna-"

"Yes!"

"Okay." Tori told Tony the number at sat at the table to listen in on the conversation.

"Yeah, is Dr. Landis there?" Tony asked. "His son," Tony waited for his father to answer the receiving line. "No, it's Tony, your other son…I need to ask you something…it'll only take a second…well, would it be okay if I stayed with you for a while…a few months," it took a longer pause for Tony to respond, "Okay," Tony was trying not to cry.

And when he slammed the phone down, Tori understood. "Oh shit," she whispered to herself.

Tony turned to his mother, obviously ready to cry. "He…he didn't think it was a good idea."

"Tony-"

"I gotta go," he left the house in a rush.

Tori slumped at the table and let out an exasperated sigh. "Why must the father of my children be a giant dillhole?"

…

Sinjin was mindlessly watching TV alone when Lane came home. "You okay, Sinjin?"

"It's just a little weird you sending Cool to school…especially this late in the year," Sinjin replied.

"I thought it'd be a good idea for him to interact with other children. Plus, he's never actually been to school and I figured I'm a guidance counselor; I'll guide and counsel him through it if there's any trouble. Why do you think it's weird for him to be at school?"

"Cool and I hang out a lot every day and about this time we watch TV together. You know, it's funny, but I think that that six year old kid is my best friend in the whole world."

"I noticed that the two of you are pretty close. Cool does need a positive male influence to fill in the role of his father. Now if only we can get him a positive female influence."

"I think Trina's a good mom."

"Sinjin-"

"Yeah, she could be better once she gets her shit together- pardon my French. Maybe if you gave her some guidance counseling she could-"

"I think Trina needs counseling that I can't give her. And by the way, I noticed that you tend to pay for her things."

"Yeah like miscellaneous stuff."

"Yeah among her part of the rent, her credit card bills, you give her an allowance and you do things for her. She's not the child around here, Cool is. And he acts like he's the adult. The kid is six years old and he can't even read or clean himself properly. Focus on treating him like the child and let Trina take care of herself. I'm sure in time she'll settle down and start to be a better parent and less annoying- God willing."

"Okay, Lane, geez," Sinjin went back to watching TV.

Lane went into the kitchen and started to prepare himself some lunch. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually miss Sikowitz living here."

* * *

><p><strong>The original scenes were for CatRobbie's and Lane/Sinjin/Trina's families. I kept the little league scene, and the scene where Helen's son calls his father.**

**Next up is the birthday scene where I bring everyone in all-together for interaction. And I'll use this chapter as an excuse to bring in Andre too, okay.**


	6. Big Birthday Blowout

**Let's bring everyone all together for a birthday party. What could possibly go wrong?**

**So many things.**

* * *

><p>If one was to pass the Oliver House on this particular weekend day in late May, one would assume it was a zoo. Why? Picture a place full of annoyingly loud children running around in chaotic excitement, miscellaneous garbage littered among the house, and a man giving kids rides on a real live horse. Still, everyone seemed to be having fun and the party seemed to be going pretty well.<p>

"Yo Beck," Jake and a bunch of other kids ran up to Beck, "when's Cowboy Dave gonna get here?"

"Isn't that him?" Beck pointed to the guy by the horse.

"No, that's the loser who brought the horse."

Noah was about to get upset. "I don't think he's coming!"

"Of course he's coming," Beck assured. "The man is a professional, and by skipping out on something professional wouldn't make him a…professional wouldn't it? Look, go do something and I'll get the food ready in a sec."

"Hey," another boy pointed to the horse, "let's go watch the horse shit!"

"YEAH!" the other boys ran to the horse and passed a familiar friend.

As Beck was putting food on the grill, the same person the boys ran past snuck up behind Beck and put his hands over his eyes. "Guess who?"

Beck smiled as he turned around and hugged his former friend. "Andre, glad you made it!"

"You kiddin'?" Andre looked around. "Looks like you could use all the adult help you can get. How much did all this cost?"

"You don't wanna know."

"Jade chip in?"

"No, this was all me."

"True chiz?"

"True chiz. Noah's been all…wonky lately and he's got some issues and I thought maybe it would help if I gave him an awesome party."

"Cool. I think I'm gonna go meet up with some other people."

"She's already here if you're interested Andre," Beck knew Andre's intentions.

"You know me pretty well, Beck." Andre smiled at him and walked away. "Hey Cat," he passed Cat and Sophie as they entered the backyard.

"Hi!" Cat excitedly waved at Andre. "Sophie, say hi to Andre."

"Hi," the little girl waved.

"Hey Sophie," Andre waved back. "Robbie parking the car?"

"Somewhere," Cat answered back.

"Cool, I'll chat him up later. See ya later."

"Bye!"

"Mommy," Sophie began, "I don't know what to do."

"You don't?"

"There's lotsa kids and they're doing lotsa things."

"Well," Cat noticed three year old Damien spinning in circles, "why don't you play with Damien?"

"I don't understand what he's doing."

"He's…spinning."

"What for?"

"No reason, just for fun."

Sophie stared at him as Robbie made his way over to them. "It doesn't look like fun."

"It isn't," Robbie point blankly stated.

Cat looked at her husband. "You tried it?"

"It's just random spinning which could potentially cause serious brain issues in the future and possibly result in…" a sudden retched noise emitted from Damien as the three year old fell on to the ground on his bottom, threw up, and started crying, "…that."

Damien bolted up crying and ran inside to his mother. "MOMMY! MOMMY!"

Jade looked at the toddler. "Great, this is the second time today. Go change clothes like a big boy."

"NO!"

"Yes."

"NO!"

"Yes."

"NO!"

"No."

"YES!" and Damien started to run upstairs to dress himself.

"This a bad time?" Tori had entered through the backdoor and was in the kitchen.

"Actually, I could use your help," Jade admitted.

"You're asking for my help?"

"I don't need it."

"Well, I don't mind helping. I'm trying to avoid Andre."

"Andre showed up?"

"I just don't wanna talk to him."

"Why?"

"What if my feelings for him start coming back?"

"So? It's obvious he's still attracted to you even though you blew any chance with him after high school by letting Danny knock you up. You got baggage, I'm sure he's got baggage, just let him take you to dinner or something and see if you wanna pursue a relationship. And if you so much as tell anyone that we had this conversation I will run you over with a steamroller."

"Where would you even get a steamroller?"

"I know people."

"Okay, got it."

"So I heard from Cat that Annie got married."

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"I find this ironic."

"What?"

"The similarities between you and your kid."

"Such as?"

"Such as you married Danny right after high school, and then she marries some kid before she starts her senior year."

"That's sort of different right there."

"Whatever. She living someplace decent?"

"Yeah, my house."

"Seriously?"

"It was my idea. Annie said she was gonna quit school, and get a job, and…I dunno, maybe by doing this she'll still go to college. Plus I can keep a close eye on them so there's no chance of her getting pregnant."

"What about when you go to work?"

"I go to work when they're at school mostly. Besides on weekends Annie sleeps past noon. Speaking of work, are you gonna go back to work anytime soon?"

"I'd like to really. I hate just staying home all day looking after kids. Granted, I love the little monsters, but…but I just wanna do more with my life."

"Does Beck think you should go back to work?"

"He told me to do whatever I felt like doing. So I stabbed him with a fork."

"Why?"

"He never has a definite answer to any of my questions. He always says 'Yeah, do whatever you want'. I swear to God he's just so-"

"Mommy!" Eden was the next kid to run into the kitchen, "Mommy some kid took my goodie bag!"

"Life's full of disappointment, suck it up," at least Jade was an honest mother.

"But Mommy!"

"Can't you see I'm interacting with other people? Go bother your dad, get him to the thumb trick or something stupid."

"YEAH!" Eden ran outside and over to her father. "DADDY! DADDY! DADDY!"

"What? What? What?" Beck asked.

"Daddy, can you do the thumb trick?"

"You really wanna see the thumb trick?"

"Yeah!"

"Alright."

"YAY!" she gave her father a quick hug, "I'm gonna go get my friends."

Beck sighed. "Since when am I the party's entertainment?"

"Beckett," Sikowitz was walking around the party in some sort of daze carrying balloon after balloon after balloon for some reason. "Are you aware that these children are sucking helium through balloons?"

"Yeah, kids love doing that. It makes their voices all high-pitched and weird."

"Does it?"

"Why are you carrying balloons around anyway?"

"For pop quizzes."

"Pop quizzes?"

"Yes. Whenever I want to quiz someone I appear beside them and pop the balloon and yell 'POP QUIZ'. Usually, they run away before I ask the question."

"Huh, so that's why all those balloons are popping. Sikowitz, could you please not to do that anymore?"

"But then what am I supposed to do with the balloons I carry?"

"Suck in the helium, I don't care!"

Sikowitz did as Beck suggested. "Good Gandhi what a rush!" Sikowitz left with a high pitched voice as Eden came running up with some of her friends.

"You guys wanna see the thumb trick I suppose?"

"YEAH!" the kids shouted.

"Okay," Beck kneeled down to their level, "but I'm only gonna do this once." Beck held onto his thumb and created the illusion that he had slid it off his hand, and then slid the thumb back to its rightful spot on the hand.

Sophie went over to the group of the kids. "What are you doing?"

"Daddy, show her the thumb trick," Eden requested.

"Okay, but this is the last time. Watch," Beck demonstrated this ability for the second time.

Sophie let out a bloodcurdling scream and immediately ran to her father. She clutched onto his leg and turned away from Beck in fear. Robbie smirked at Beck and gave him a sarcastic thumbs-up and head nod.

Cat went over to her family. "Robbie, what happened, is she okay?"

"She just got frightened by Beck doing that thumb trick he does, no big deal." Robbie shrugged this off.

"Sophie, go play with the other kids while I talk to your Daddy." Sophie went off somewhere as Cat took Robbie aside. "Robbie, she can't keep running to us every time she doesn't understand something. Why didn't you tell her what Beck did was okay?"

"I honestly don't think it's appropriate for Beck to do that around kids her age."

"It's normal; kids love that sort of thing. I love that sort of thing!"

"Cat, what are you getting so upset about?"

"Robbie, she's…weird. Sophie is a weird child. She doesn't know how to be a regular kid just like regular kids her age. Remember what we were like when we were her age? I think maybe we should enroll her in public school and she could learn how to act like a kid should act."

"I just don't think it's a good age for Sophie to be socially activated right now and-"

"She's not a bomb, she's a little kid! She's a little kid who has no ability to relate to other little kids."

"You want her to relate to him?" Robbie gestured to Damien, whose head was caught in a plastic folding chair and crying out for help even though he could easily get out of his predicament.

Cat let out an exasperated sigh. "I don't wanna argue anymore, I'm going inside!" she entered the kitchen through the back door. "Hi," she greeted Tori and Jade without her usual perkiness.

"Cat, what's wrong?" Tori inquired.

"Trouble in paradise," Jade casually replied back. "She and Robbie are fighting more and she's coming to me with her problems."

"You know, you can tell me too Cat."

"I'm having married people problems and you're not a married person," Cat innocently reminded.

"Ah," Tori suddenly felt more awkward. "Well, I can see that I'm not wanted. I'm gonna go talk to Andre or something." Tori went back outside.

Jade groaned. "Alright, let it out."

"We had another fight about Sophie," Cat confessed.

"All your fighting is about Sophie. Don't you guys ever fight about useless couples' shit like me and Beck?"

"No, we barely have time to be a couple anymore. I miss those days." Cat started to giggle.

"What?"

"Back in those days…" she was turning a little red in the face, "no, I can't."

"What?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"It's dirty."

"I doubt anything involving Robbie Shapiro is dirty."

"You'd be surprise."

"Surprise me," Jade wasn't anticipating anything to revealing or too erotic.

"Well back when we were in college I started to get more...more…" Cat couldn't find the right words to say, "more out of whack the more time I spent with my former sorority sisters. Robbie loved me enough to help me get my life together and get me into teaching. He kinda took me under his control and I found that pretty…sexy," she whispered the last word assuming it was dirty. "Once we got married things got more hot," Cat was lost in her thoughts.

"Doubtful."

"Robbie and I used to be really hot when we first got married."

"You and Robbie?"

"I know Robbie doesn't look like it, but he's really good at…naughty things. How do you and Beck say it? Robbie and I used to go at it like rabbits."

Jade stared at Cat in disbelief. "You and Robbie? Robbie Shapiro?"

"We did lots of naughty stuff," Cat bit her lip as she started to think. "I used to give him...oral," she whispered that last word again.

"Oral sex?"

"Yeah," Cat let out a flirty little giggle. "I would give it to him a lot when we were driving together."

"Excuse you?"

"He was always trying to get a research grant-"

"And you thought that would help?"

"No, I mean he was always trying to get a research grant, but he kept getting turned down and it would make him all mad and tense. If he got really, really tense I would lean over while he was driving and…you know."

"Oh this is hot," the girls hadn't noticed Sinjin was standing there.

"SINJIN!"

"I'm sorry; I just came in to let you know Sikowitz wants me to drive him to Tori's tomorrow so you can stay home with Robbie and Sophie."

"Fine," Cat wasn't even looking at him.

"Don't mind me, go ahead and finish your story."

"GET OUT!" both women wanted him gone.

"Okay, okay," Sinjin headed outside as Robbie was walking in. "Way to go, Shapiro."

Robbie looked at him with confusion as he headed into the house. "Jade, Beck was wondering if you've had any word from some guy called Cowboy Dave."

"No, and I'm getting pretty impatient," Jade noted. "Does Beck have this guy's cell number or…" they were interrupted by Damien entering the kitchen with a bucket over his head screaming. Repeatedly, the child banged his head against the wall. Robbie gave Jade a confused look. "Damien's at this phase where he likes to butt things with his head."

"How proud you must be." Robbie didn't even pay a second glance to his wife as he left the room.

"He always act like this when you guys fight?" Cat didn't answer back. "Hey, things'll get better eventually. Until then could you take the stupid candy-filled piñata out?" Jade pointed to the donkey shaped piñata on the table.

"Yay, I love candy!" Cat seemed to forget everything transpired and giddily carried the candy-filled piñata outside and gave it to Beck.

"Thanks, Cat," Beck took the piñata from her and hung it from the tree in his backyard. "YO!" Beck called attention to the kids. "Who wants to take a whack at the piñata?" Kids came charging over screaming in excitement. Beck put a blindfold over the first kid and handed him a baseball bat. "Hit it as hard as you can." So the boy did, but nothing happened. The same effect happened with the next few kids. "New plan," Beck took off the blindfold and threw it to the side. "No blindfold! Just hit it!" By this point nearly all of the older kids and boys had gathered around to take it down to no avail. So, Beck took a swing at it, and of course, nothing happened. Getting too involved with the piñata, Beck threw it down on the ground and mercilessly started hitting it with the bat. Believe it or not, it still didn't break open. "JADE, WHERE'D YOU PUT THE SAW?"

Tori and Andre chuckled to themselves as Beck tried to bust open the piñata. "It's like he's got some personal vendetta against that thing," Andre commented.

"I know, right."

"I missed your smile, you know."

"Andre-"

"I know, but I didn't really know how much I really cared about you until I saw you walkin' down the aisle to marry Danny."

"Is that why you went to New York?"

"Partly. I still wanted to be a musician you know."

"You kind of are."

"True. How 'bout your kids, are they musically inclined?"

"I dunno; they tend to keep to themselves. They used to love playing with any instrument they got their hands on but now…" Tori trailed off.

"From what I've heard you are a good mother. Don't ever think you're not."

"Thanks, Andre."

"Hey, I heard Trina's got a kid now."

"Yeah," Tori scouted the area before pointing out the intended target, "he's that one right there."

Andre looked. "The little blonde boy?"

"No, the one next to the little blonde boy."

"The black kid?" Tori nodded. "Who's the Daddy?" Tori couldn't help but laugh. "Naw, I'm serious."

"Even Trina doesn't know."

"I'm just surprised someone even slept with her."

"I think we all were."

"What's the kid's name?"

"Cool."

"Cool?"

"Cool."

"Okay, what's his full name?"

"Cool Trino Vega."

"You serious?"

"True chiz."

"I gotta talk to Trina about her poor naming choices. Is Trina here today?"

"No, and I have no idea where she could be." Tori (and Andre) watched as Sinjin went over to Cool and brought him a plate of food. "I think Sinjin's a better parent to my nephew than Trina ever could be."

"That could be a pro; ladies do love single parents."

Tori noticed a van with _Party-Time Entertainment_ written on the side. "HEY BECK!" She got Beck to stop trying to open the piñata with the saw and pointed to the van.

"Great," Beck nearly bolted up, ran inside, threw the saw in the living room, and opened the front door to greet Cowboy Dave.

But it wasn't Cowboy Dave at the door. "Sorry I'm late," a woman in a revealing outfit and a breathy voice let herself. "Okay, where should I do it?"

Beck stared in shock. "Who are you and what are you gonna do?" He was too surprise to notice his wife make her way over to see what was going on.

The girl smiled. "I'm Candy Cane from _Party-Time Entertainment_. I'm the stripper you hired." Jade's face expressed just as much shock, and some definite anger toward Beck. "So what's the birthday boy's name because I paint it across my breasts."

Beck got a look at his wife. "Jade, have you met Candy?"

Candy got a look at their faces. "You did hire me, didn't you?"

"And if you did," Jade was directing this to Beck, "you have some serious explaining to do."

"Why don't I call my boss?" without their permission, Candy went to use their phone in the kitchen.

"Beck, why is a stripper at our house?"

"Why do you assume this is my doing?" Beck questioned back.

"Because _you_ apparently hired her."

The couple got into a mini argument as the birthday boy was coming out of the bathroom and headed into the kitchen. "Mom," Noah got a look at the lady at the phone, "is this lady one of your friends?"

"Go on outside and never speak of this again."

Candy hung up the phone and turned to Beck and Jade. "There was a mix-up at the office where I got Cowboy Dave's gig and he got mine. Sorry, goodbye."

"Wait a minute," Beck stopped, "what about Cowboy Dave? He is coming, right?" this question made Noah turn around and listen in on the conversation.

Candy was shaking her head no. "He showed up at the lodge where I was supposed to go- they beat him severely. Cowboy Dave ain't coming." She saw herself out.

"Cowboy Dave's not coming?" Noah's voice got high and whiny and his face was upset.

"Come on Noah, it'll be okay," Beck assured.

"All the kids are gonna hate me; it'll be just like Little League."

"Cowboy Dave is coming."

"Beck!" Jade was about to protest, but Beck wouldn't have it.

"Oh no, he's coming," Beck was trying his best not to lose his sanity.

"Noah, go outside before I lock your father in the nuthouse." Noah listened to his mother. "Why did you go and tell him that? Life's full of disappointment it's best that he learns this now."

"I promised my kid the best birthday ever and I'm gonna give my kid the best birthday ever." Beck picked up the rug in the living room. "You have any affection toward this rug?"

"No."

"Good," he hurried to the kitchen and opened a drawer where he then removed some scissors. "I'm gonna need your good scissors."

"Beck?"

"Just get everyone ready for the show!"

"JUST DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID!" Jade sighed. "He's gonna do something stupid."

A few minutes after the kids assembled together, Beck stepped outside for a grand entrance. He was wearing worn-out boots, pieces of the living room rug over his jeans being held on by pieces of belts, a tacky red dress shirt with a brown vest with white stripes- a toy badge on the vest, an orange bandana around his neck, and one of his sons' spare cowboy hat. "Howdy, boys," he tried to speak with a southern accent.

"You're Noah's dad, you're not Cowboy Dave!" an annoying boy obviously stated.

"That's right, they call me Cowboy Beck." There was nothing but silence as a response. "Anyways I saw Cowboy Dave, didn't like his face, so I shot him," Beck was trying to keep Noah and his friends entertained. "Blew a hole in him this big," Beck gestured the size and the boys started to moan. "Actually, it was this big," he increased the fake size, but the boys still weren't impressed. "Now that I think about it, the hole was about this big," he made a bigger size with his hands and the boys cheered. "Yeah, and his guts spilled all over the floor," the boys were laughing. "As I walked away I started slippin' 'round on his guts." The boys were now amused for some demented reason. "A couple other people walkin' 'round they started slippin' on his guts too." For some reason, most of the adults were enjoying this too. "But after I blow a hole in somebody and slip on their guts, I like to make balloon animals." He took two balloons, blew them up, and tried unsuccessfully to make a balloon animal, even going so far to bring in more balloons to aid him in his balloon animal attempt. In the end, he still held up his work. "Behold…your lower intestines." Again, the crowd cheered. "Now, who wants to face off with me in a water gun fight?" All the boys raised their hands. "Looks like I'm gonna have to take on all y'all!" So he naturally did. He kept the kids entertained by letting him chase them with water guns.

This came to an end when Jade whistled for everyone's attention. "WHO WANTS CAKE!" The kids all ran toward her. "BACK OFF OR NO FOOD!"

"I'll get the cake Babe," Beck ran into the house.

Jade tried to get the kids away. "Go bother your own parents!" Beck rode into the backyard on the horse carrying the birthday cake. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Beck handed her the birthday cake and whispered, "I'm trying to end this faster."

"You don't know how to ride a horse!"

"Yeah, but I gotta make a big exit." Beck then addressed the crowd with his southern accent. "This here's Cowboy Beck's woman; take a bow lil' lady."

"Kiss my ass," she snarled back at him.

"Language," he whispered to her. "Well, I best be gettin' back to my home on the range before sundown." Beck looked at his son. "Noah, I hope this is the best dang birthday you ever had. I'll be seein' y'all. Giddyup!" Beck got the horse to turn and ride away from the house. As he rode off, the horse jumped over a bush, and Beck fell off. Not wanting to worry anyone, Beck quickly rose to his feet as if nothing happened. Once it seemed to die down, Beck clutched his leg in agony and limped off to get the horse.

…

The rest of the party seemed a blur, but after it was over, the Oliver kids were pretty tired. Damien was pretty tired that he just plopped onto the lower bunk and almost instantly fell asleep. "Not gonna happen," Jade just had to speak like she was pissed and the kids knew what she wanted. Damien adjusted himself in his bed the right way and went back to sleep. Jade then tended to her son at the top bunk. "Night, Noah."

"Night Mom," Noah replied back.

"You have a decent birthday?"

"Yeah, it was the best."

"Glad you enjoyed it because your father's never planning your birthday ever again."

"Dad was funny."

"Depends on your definition of funny."

Beck entered the room. "Okay, I tucked Eden in."

"How's your leg?"

"It's fine." Beck went over to his son and tousled his hair. "Anyone ever tell ya you have fantastic hair?" Noah smiled. "Happy Birthday, kiddo."

"Dad?" Noah began.

"What up?"

"When I grow up, can I work where you work?"

"Why?"

"So we can still see each other every day."

Beck smiled. "Yeah, sure Noah. Night, love you."

"I love you too, Dad. And Mom," Jade looked at her son. Noah then raised his eyebrow in suggestion and asked her, "How you doin'?"

Jade turned and glared at Beck, but Beck played stupid. "I have no idea where these kids learn these things."

* * *

><p><strong>Gee, that was long. Good thing I kept the intro short. I tried to put in as much as I could with the other families and not to take out the things that transpired at the party. So if that conversation w Cat and Jade made you feel awkward; it was in the movie- that scene, for me, was the hardest to write because I tried to picture how Cat would talk about those things.**

**We'll get back to separate family stories in the next chapter.**


	7. Things Go Downhill

**Remind me never to throw a kids' birthday party like that as long as I live. If I ever have kids it'll just be pizza, cake, presents, friends, little to no family (and if you've met my family you'd understand why) and maybe if the kid's not too much of a problem child I'll let it have a sleepover. Simple enough?**

**But then in the Victorious world, nothing can ever be simple, can it?**

**I'm sure by now you figured there is some serious adult content in this story. Well, there was some serious adult content in the movie. While most of it was used for comedy, some was used for drama. I'm letting you know because both Tori and Beck and Jade's segments features some sexual content.**

**Rest assured, it's the humorous adult content, not the serious kind.**

* * *

><p>Nothing it seemed had happened for almost two months for any of the families. But on a Thursday in late July some things did start to happen. Tori was driving home while talking on cell phone. "No, that actually does sound more fun…I'm glad you're glad Andre…and…hold on someone else is trying to call," Tori put Andre on hold and answered the other line. "This is Tori…Danny…Danny, what the hell are you talking about…" Tori's foot slammed on the brakes, "…and you're sure it was him…shit…just…Danny, I'll pay for any damage just don't press charges against your own kid…you ever think that maybe he didn't do it...a what…a hammer…how do you know for sure it was the hammer you left…who puts their initials in a hammer…okay, okay I'll send you a check to cover the damage; this just doesn't seem like something Tony would do…drugs…no, my son is not on…I'll talk to him okay Danny…Danny…you know what, go to Hell," Tori hung up on Danny and returned to talking to Andre. "Andre, I'm gonna have to call you back." She threw her phone aside and drove onward to her house. "TONY!" she yelled for her son once she was inside. Tori hurried over to his room and noticed the lock on his door. In a rush, she went into her shed in the backyard to get a crowbar, entering the house she used the crowbar to open Tony's room.<p>

Tony's room was like a typical teenage boy's room really. There were posters of heavy metal bands and action movies, there were clothes everywhere, the room was a total mess in general. Tori then began her search through her son's room for any clues as to what happened. Entering his closet, she noticed the brown paper bag Tony usually carried every time he left was sitting there in the open. Whatever was in the bag could be a clue. When she dumped the contents of the bag onto his bed, she was surprised to find a bunch of DVDs of classic comedies. "DVDs?" she browsed through the titles and smiled to herself. "If he wanted to watch these movies why didn't he just ask me?" Naturally, she assumed her son was sneaking these PG-13 to R rated comedy movies. "Ooh, I haven't seen this movie in…" when Tori opened the case to one of the movies, the DVD didn't read the accurate title (_Breakfast Club_), but instead read _Wet, Wild, and Ready._ Even more curious, she put the DVD in her son's DVD player and turned on the TV. Starting the movie, she was more than stunned to learn what kind of movie it actually was. "Oh my God!"

"Tori," Tori turned around in fear to see Sinjin and Sikowitz standing in the hallway, "the front door was open and I…whoa!" Sinjin got a look at what was on TV.

"What channel is this?" Sikowitz inquired.

"No, Sikowitz, this is a DVD," Tori informed.

"A what now?"

"Never mind."

"I hope you don't take offense to this Tori, but I feel that you need a man…now."

"Sikowitz! This isn't mine, I don't watch this!"

"WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING IN HERE?" Tony was back. He raced over to the TV and turned it off. "Did you break my lock?"

"Sinjin, can you take Sikowitz to the basement please?"

"But I wanna watch that," Sinjin protested.

"SINJIN!"

"Okay, okay. Come on Sikowitz."

"You know," Sikowitz began, "one of those women reminded me of a former student."

"Which one?"

Tori went over and shut the door as they left. "Tony-"

"Why did you break my lock?" Tony was a combination of upset, angry, and embarrassed.

"I came in here because I was afraid you were on drugs."

"Why would you think that?"

"Your father called and told me that when he went to work this morning, he found his office completely destroyed and a hammer was left behind; a hammer with his initials on it that he left in our shed."

"Someone must've framed me!"

"Tony, it's okay for you to feel this way. I want you to remember you're a great kid. You're a great kid with a lousy dad. You just gotta learn to say 'The Hell with him'!" Tori sighed. "I think that's good advice for both of us- we both need to stop pretending he'll play a part in yours and your sister's life." Tony was still quiet. "And I'm not sure what to say about the…movies. I assume you're watching these movies because you're curious about sex…or filmmaking." Tony still didn't say anything. "Is there anything you'd like to ask?"

"Who?"

"Me." Tony shook his head no. "Well, I don't blame you about that. What about Beck or Robbie?"

"They're busy with their own kids- they wouldn't wanna deal with me."

Someone knocked on the door. Without an approval to come in, Max opened the door. "Oh hey Ms. V."

"Hi, Max," Tori greeted.

"Where's my wife?"

"She's at some audition for a play."

"Bitchin'!" Max took a candy bar out of his pocket and ate it. "So what up?" he asked with his mouth full of chocolate.

Tori looked at Max, then at Tony. She went over to her son and asked him quietly, "You wanna talk to Max?" Mother and son looked at the slacker, who found what he thought were x-ray glasses and was examining his hand. In response, Tony shrugged. "Max, is it cool if Tony talks to you while I make dinner?"

"Oh, sure Ms. V."

"I'll leave you two alone," Tori left Tony's room, shut the door, and started making dinner.

Sinjin came up from the basement. "Sorry about what happened."

"It's okay, just never speak of it again."

"Can you ask Tony if I can borrow that movie sometime?"

"Goodbye, Sinjin."

"Is that a yes?"

"SINJIN!"

"Okay, okay I'm going." Sinjin left Tori's house.

"Creepy, perv," Tori continued on with her cooking.

Max entered the kitchen a little over fifteen minutes later. "Can I be like totally honest?"

"Yes, please."

"That is one messed up little dude." Tori let out an exasperated sigh. "You sure we can talk straight Ms. V, 'cause it's gonna get pretty heavy?"

"Yeah; what do you have to tell me?"

"Okay, so a few months ago Tony got his first boner. You know what a boner is Ms. V?"

"Yes Max, that term has been around longer than you have."

"Coolness! Anyway, since then he's been…uh…he's been…" Max tried not to make it sound too dirty, "…he's been slappin' the salami. And he's been goin' for a world record. Chicken's burnin'."

"What?" Tori looked down at her cooking. "Oh no!"

"Damn, that looked good too. So anyway, Tony thought there was somethin' wrong with him- like he was a perv or somethin'. I told him that's what little dudes do, and even I used to do that. That made him happy."

"Tony was happy?"

"Yeah, and he even smiled. I didn't even know he had teeth."

"I guess all Tony really needs is a man around the house."

"Depends on the man, though. I had a man around I called Dad. Dad would wake me up by flicking lit cigarettes at my head ordering me to make him breakfast." Max tried not to let his guard down. "You know Ms. V; you need a license to drive a car, or to buy something with a credit card, hell you even need a license to catch a fish," Max sighed, "but they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father." Max snapped out of his seriousness. "Well, I'm gonna go pick up Annie 'cause she doesn't wanna ride with her friends no more."

"Why not?"

"Eh, they keep makin' fun of her hair .She does look kinda stupid, though." Max started laughing. "I don't know what the hell we were thinkin'!"

"Hey Max."

"Yeah, Ms. V?"

"Thanks."

"Sure, no prob."

And for once, Tori was actually glad Max Elliot played a part in the lives of her kids.

…

Lane was sitting in the living room trying to teach Cool how to read. "Can you read that back to me?"

Cool held the book to his face. "I was w-w-walking down the road then I saw a l-little toad."

"Good," Lane smiled.

"Hey Lane," Sinjin came into the house, "Lane, have you seen my car?"

"Sinjin, you just came home with it."

"No, my dad's car. I wanted to go and clean it, but it's not there."

"It's not?"

"Have you seen it?"

"No," a realization hit Lane, "but I have a pretty good idea who has it."

"Okay, who?"

"I'll tell you later. Listen, could you help get Cool cleaned up before we go out with Beck and his family."

"Sure. Come on Cool." Cool ran off the couch and followed Sinjin to the bathroom.

Lane pulled out his cellphone and made a call.

"_Hey, hey, it's me Trina_," it went straight to voicemail, "_leave me a message. MWAH!_" the last part of the voicemail was her making a kissy noise.

…

"I think places like this are stupid," Jade commented to the adults as they sat at a table at _Chuck E Cheese._

"You think everything's stupid babe," Beck retorted back.

"So how else are things?" Sinjin decided to change subjects.

"Fine, I guess."

"You guess?"

"I'm just so tired lately. I've been pulling in all these extra shifts at work since Noah's birthday nearly bankrupted me. Plus, we took him to the dentist last month and they had to give him a retainer."

"I hate the way those things feel. Remember that one time Cat's brother and I-"

"Dad," the kids came running to the table with Eden at the front, "Noah wants to go home."

"How'd you'd guys go through all those tokens so fast?" Beck asked his daughter.

"Another kid took Noah's tokens."

"Shut up!" Noah was visibly upset.

"What kid?" Jade asked.

"Never mind, can we just go?"

"It was that kid," Eden pointed to a boy on one of those fake motorcycle rides.

"I said never mind!"

Jade got a look at the kid. "That kid? That kid's not bigger than you! Go get your tokens back."

"Jade, I don't think violence is the answer," Lane interjected. "Noah, would you like any of us adults to help convince the boy to give your tokens back?"

"No, can we just go? I wanna go home!" Noah was adamant on going home.

Beck rubbed his son's back. "Alright, we'll go home."

"You're giving into him?" Jade seemed miffed by this. "That's a little kid! Damien could kick that kid's ass."

"Language, Babe." Noah screamed and then started to cry. "Noah, what's the matter?"

"I lost my retainer!" Noah's crying was serving as a loud distraction.

"Relax," Jade tried to calm her son down, "where'd you lose it?"

"I put my retainer on the table and now I can't find it!" This little scene was drawing attention as he began crying harder.

"Noah, it's okay we'll find it." Jade exchanged nervous glances with Beck.

"I'll go ask the manager if there's a lost and found or something," Beck left.

"Lane, can you take the kids home please?"

"Sure," although Lane (and even Sinjin) was stunned that Jade had used the word 'please' now wasn't the time to act upon it. He and Sinjin gathered up the kids and left.

Jade went to find her husband. "Well?"

"He says he hasn't seen it, and there isn't one in their lost and found. The only other logical place would be the trashcans outside the building."

"Go digging in the trash?"

"That retainer was worth two-hundred bucks. If you dropped $200 in the garbage you'd look right?"

"Fine, let's just get this over with." Jade and her husband started digging through garbage.

"Let's face it, he's getting worse," Beck broke the silence as they dug through the trashcans.

"He has his good days, and he has his bad days."

"I just know they're gonna put him in special ed. I feel like this is my fault."

"It's not! Why in the hell would you feel that way?"

"I just..."

"Did you think coaching little league or throwing him an awesome party would make him better or something?"

"No, no I didn't." Jade raised her eyebrow to him. "Fine, I did! I thought it would help him."

"You were only fooling yourself, Beck." Jade brushed the trash on her outfit. "Come on, let's go home."

The couple hardly said two words to each other on the way home until Beck broke the silence by saying, "I'm gonna be home later tomorrow."

"Why?"

"I'm attempting to 'dazzle' my boss and I'm gonna be putting extra hours in with my clients. I've been trying to get my work all caught up, but things with the kids have just been getting in the way."

"Things with all our kids, or things with just Noah?"

"Listen, I'd appreciate it if we didn't start anything now." Beck let out a long sigh. "Jesus, I'm so tense."

This made Jade remember a conversation she had a while back. "You are?"

"My back is tense, my neck is tense, my knee is tense, Hell I think my ears are even tense! I'm just-"

"Maybe I could do something to help you relax."

"I doubt you can do anything Jade."

"I'd like to try." Jade unbuckled her seat belt and lowered herself so that her head was nearly on Beck's lap.

"Jade?" she unzipped his pants. "Jade, what are you…oh that feels so good." He was so pleasured by his wife that he lost control of the wheel and crashed into a pole. "JESUS CHRIST!" Jade instantly sat back up. "You okay?"

"What the hell Beck?"

"I got sort of distracted. That pole came right the hell out of nowhere!"

"This is so embarrassing!"

"This is just as much my fault as it is yours. You just took me by surprise and I lost control."

A patrol car making its rounds pulled up alongside the damaged car. Stepping out of the car, the cop went over to the driver's side. "You folks okay?"

"We're fine, officer."

"How did this happen?"

Beck and Jade exchanged glances with each other. "You wanna know what happened to make the car crash?"

"Yeah."

Beck cleared his throat. "Show him what happened, Babe."

…

"I wonder why they crashed their car," Sinjin sat in the passenger side as Lane drove him and Cool home later.

"I'm just glad they're alright," Lane turned down the street and pulled into the driveway just as Trina was trying to close up the garage.

"Hey Lane," Trina waved. "Just gettin' somethin' from the garage."

Lane was scowling at her as Sinjin noticed something. "Hey, my car's back."

"Sinjin," Lane unbuckled his seatbelt. "Go inside and put Cool to bed, I'm gonna have a talk with Trina."

Sinjin and Cool got out of the car. "Hope you don't mind Sinjin," Trina pointed to his car, "I took your car for a spin."

"It's okay, just ask next time," Sinjin believed her.

"Coolness, and the next time can I borrow the registration and proof of purchase and any other paperwork for the car."

"Um…sure Trina."

"Sinjin, take Cool inside," Lane ordered. He waited until the two of them were inside before leading Trina back into the garage. "Trina, you might have Sinjin fooled, but I know what you're up to. You were gonna to sell his father's car and then convince him it was stolen."

"I wasn't gonna do that per se."

"I can't take any more of this Trina. I want you out of my house!"

"Lane, they're gonna kill me."

"Who?"

"People I owe some debts to in Vegas and Atlantic City."

"How much do you owe? I want the truth."

"$26,000."

"Oh, Christ. Trina, why didn't you tell me you had a gambling problem?"

"I'm Trina Vega and I have no problems because I'm perfect."

"What do you do with all that money Sinjin gives you?"

"I might take some chances and try to increase it via games."

"You gambled that too?"

"I just can't catch a break lately. And some of that money goes into saving for stuff for auditions too I mean I am gonna be famous."

"You ever think of getting a _real_ job?"

"Me at a real job?"

"Everyone else has a real job!"

"Everyone else lost sight of their dreams of fame and fortune after graduating Hollywood Arts except for me!"

"I never had to deal with these kinds of problems from your sister."

Trina groaned. "Why does everyone have to compare me to Tori? I'm the older sister! She made mistakes too you know. She got pregnant right out of high school; at least I waited until I was in my thirties to have a kid."

"But you don't even know who his father is! Hell, you barely acknowledge you have a kid. I hear you on the phone Trina talk about how you never have anything to do or anyone to bother you, and I see the way you act around other people- especially around him. I can at least say Tori is a better mother than you."

"She made the best out of her mistakes and she learned from them! I guess that's something I need to do. If you say I have a problem then I'm gonna need some guidance and counseling and you're a guidance counselor. You help them Lane, can't you help me?" Lane didn't say anything. "Lane?"

"I think you're way beyond helping Trina."

"So you're just giving up on me?"

"No, Trina. Unlike you, I don't give up on people I care about." Lane headed into the house and left Trina alone in the garage.

…

"I wish we coulda went with you last night," Cat was on the phone with Jade, "but Robbie doesn't think it's a good idea to take Sophie there, or anyplace fun for that matter…yeah, I've decided I'm gonna do that...I know, but I can't take it...I'm not gonna tell you where in case he can hear me…no, I'm gonna tell him myself…KK, bye." Cat hung up the phone, took a deep breath, and picked up some flashcards.

Robbie was in the den with Sophie quizzing her on elements on the periodic table and listening to classical music. Holding up a flashcard with the number and symbol, Sophie had to guess the element. "Plutonium." Robbie removed that card and held up a new one. "Selenium." He held up the flashcard with 'Na' on it. "Sodium." He flipped the card around to show her she guessed the correct answer.

Cat knocked on the door. "I don't mean to interrupt, but I've made up some new cards."

Robbie smiled at her. "That's great. Why don't we use your cards?"

"Actually, I think it's best I show them to you first to make sure they're appropriate."

"Sure," Robbie got up to leave. "Sophie, Mommy and I will be back in two minutes. How many seconds is that?"

"A hundred and twenty."

"Good job, sweetie." Robbie joined Cat in the hall. Cat sighed and displayed the cards as Robbie read them aloud. "This is…" Cat flipped the first card, "…the only way…" she flipped the next card, "…I can get…" flip, "…your attention. Cat, this is really basic stuff, she's way beyond this." Cat flipped the second to last card. "I'm leaving you." Robbie realized what was going on and looked up at his wife in shock. "You're leaving me?" Cat flipped the final card. "Yes." Robbie leaned back against the wall in surprise. "You're leaving me?"

"You read the cards Robbie." Cat went into their bedroom and got her already packed suitcases.

"This seems so sudden. I can't imagine what's wrong."

"You don't know what's wrong? Robbie, I can't keep going on like this. I know I'm your wife but I'm also Sophie's mother and I'm looking out for her best interest more than our own. I want so much more for her that you just won't give her and every time I try to do something I wanna do with my daughter we start an argument because you disagree with what I wanna do. You know, Sophie's not stupid Robbie, she can sense the tension between us and she feels it's her fault. I don't want her to feel like that. So I think it's best that I leave." Cat brushed past him and headed down the stairs and out the door.

"Cat!" Robbie followed her. "Cat, what about us?"

"What about us?"

"I don't want you to go. I love you."

"You say that Robbie, but those are words. You don't need me anymore when you've got Sophie."

"Are you jealous because I devote most of my attention to our daughter than I do you?"

"Honestly, a little bit. But it's not just that Robbie. You're not the man I married anymore. You're not my Robbie."

"_Your_ Robbie? Since when have I belonged to you, I'm my own person!"

"See! I can't say anything to defend myself without us fighting. If anyone so much as looked at me funny the old Robbie would stand up for me before I even had the chance to defend myself." Cat closed the trunk of her car. "I still stand up for you, you know. But I can't keep doing that if you're not gonna stand up for me."

"What about Sophie?"

"I'm not gonna get in the way of you raising her the way you want to." Cat started her car.

"Cat, please don't go."

"You don't need me anymore Robbie. I think we're better off without each other," Cat pulled out of the driveway and drove off leaving Robbie standing in the front yard in stunned silence. Neither parent noticed the little figure in the window watching this all transpire.

* * *

><p><strong>Drama, drama, drama, drama. And all of these scenes, in order, were in the movie. So before you pelt me with virtual garbage over everything that happened let me remind you all of this in here happened. Well, I did add a little bit to the CatRobbie thing because it just cuts off to Helen after Susan shows the Nathan the 'Yes' flashcard.**

**Hopefully things will get better. I can guarantee Andre will make another bigger appearance in the next chapter and there will be some even BIGGER announcements from at least two families. How big? The next chapter will be called 'Pregnant Pause'…hint, hint.**


	8. Pregnant Pause

**I know, I already gave away the title in the last chapter to keep you readers enticed. For those who seen the movie, yeah I'm pretty sure you know who's knocked up. For those who haven't, let's see if your guesses were right or wrong.**

**But because nothing else exciting happens, I'm gonna make up some equally important scenes w/ the families that got kinda left out. If you're not sure what scene wasn't in the movie, I'll tell ya at the end.**

* * *

><p>After that conversation with Lane, Trina disappeared for a while. For some time, Lane and Sinjin were convinced that she would be gone for good…<p>

…until she came back one Saturday in late August.

"MOM!" Cool ran out the front door into the arms of his mother, happy to see her. And it seemed as though Trina was happy to see him because she embraced her son in the hug. "Mom, guess what?"

"What?" was Trina interested in something besides herself

"I start first grade this Wednesday!"

"You do? Really?" Trina didn't notice Sinjin and Lane standing outside the door.

"Sinjin's taking me back to school shopping today."

"Shopping, huh?"

"Are you comin' with us Mom?"

"Sure, I'd love to."

Cool gave his mother another hug. "I missed you Mom."

"I missed you too, Cool."

"Is Trina on something?" Sinjin whispered to Lane.

"I don't know," Lane himself wasn't even sure. "Keep a close eye on her in case she's up to something."

So Sinjin did. And by the end of the day he was still unsure. Trina seemed different that day. For one she was actually listening to what everyone, including Cool, was saying and she seemed to take interest. Much to everyone's surprise, she wasn't even fixated on her cell phone. She seemed to…care.

After tucking her son in, Trina joined Sinjin on the couch that night to watch some TV. "He's not such a bad kid."

"He's the greatest," Sinjin stated.

"I can't thank you enough for taking care of him so awesomely."

"Forget about it." There was an awkward pause, the question Sinjin wanted to ask lingering in his mind.

"I went into hiding," Trina knew what he wanted to ask. "I don't know how I ended up there, but I ended up staying in an Amish community for a while."

"Amish?"

"Yeah, those people still exist. They did teach me some important crap about wholesome values and the importance of family."

"Lane said you should settle down and be a better mother."

"And I feel if I'm gonna be a better mother, I think my son should have a father."

"You're gonna track down Cool's father."

"Actually I was gonna ask you if you wanted to adopt him."

Sinjin turned to her. "Are you leaving again?"

"Sinjin, I pissed a lot of people off and who's to say they're not gonna track me down and hurt me. I just wanna be sure that he's taking care of. I've seen the way you two are around each other and I don't think I could ask for a better guy than you."

"Okay Trina, what do you want?"

"Sinjin! I can't believe that you just assume that I want something from you."

"You're an actress Trina; this is an act! You're bribing me with something big because you want something big. Where did you really go Trina?"

"I'm not the kid around here Sinjin, I don't have to tell you!"

"Well you sure as hell act like the kid around here!"

"I don't have to take this shit," Trina snatched up her purse and stormed out the door.

Lane made his way into the living room. "It was all an act, huh?"

"I didn't wanna believe it," Sinjin admitted. "I guess something was up went she spent the whole day being nice to her kid and in the end decided to try and legally pawn him off on me."

Lane sat beside Sinjin. "You want to adopt him don't you?" Sinjin sighed. "I don't blame you, you're the closest thing to a father figure he'll ever have. Heck, the two of us and Tori are the closest thing to family he'll ever have."

"I hate that feeling."

"What feeling?"

"The feeling of not having a family."

"It's been a while since you mentioned anyone from the van Cleefs."

"When I'm with Cool, it feels like I'm little again and I'm with my best friend. I don't know if you know this, but my best friend was my dad."

"I knew the two of you were very close."

"After my dad died, I felt this…this obligation to give him a grandson. Remember that one time when I kept going on all those dates?"

"Oh yeah. And I remember you were always back from the dates less than thirty minutes later."

"I was trying to find a woman I could fall in love, and who called fall in love with me back. But I guess when you act like your true self it's a turn off to women."

"Ain't that the truth."

"Women; can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em."

"Amen to that."

"You know, I actually tried to live without women. For a short time I thought I was gay."

"Trust me Sinjin, you're not gay."

"I honestly wouldn't know. I've never really interacted with a gay person so I wouldn't know what it was really like to be gay."

"Yes Sinjin, you have interacted with someone gay."

"Sikowitz?"

Lane paused in thought. "Honestly, I'm not sure about him, and I don't think I'll ever understand him as long as I live."

"Is it Tori? 'Cause if Tori was gay that'd be so hot. Once I had this fantasy that she and Jade were-"

"Sinjin!" This got Sinjin to stop. "Tori's not gay either."

"Aww, man."

"It's me."

"You? You're gay?"

"I've only told a few people in my life; but the people I've told turned their back on me so I never bothered to come out."

"I'd never turn my back on you."

"Thank you Sinjin."

"But please don't try and come onto me."

"Believe me Sinjin, that won't happen."

"Aww, even the gays don't find me attractive?" Lane couldn't help but laugh. "Lane, I never really thanked you for taking me in when no one else would. I wish I could make it up to you."

"You don't have to; I know."

"You're a second father to me and I want you to know that I love you as a person no matter what."

"I know that too," Lane and Sinjin hugged each other.

"But what are we gonna do about Trina?"

"I don't know Sinjin, I just don't know."

…

Little Sophie spent most of her time staring out the window waiting for her mother to come back. It seemed the more time Robbie tried to spend with her, the more distant his daughter seemed. The separation also took its toll on Robbie. He stayed in the house mostly, and kept to himself. He couldn't bear to sleep in the bedroom he and his wife once shared and slept in one of the guest rooms.

Still, they tried to move on without Cat. Robbie still tried to homeschool Sophie, but Sophie was too distracted by the window. So on this Sunday, Robbie decided to forego any lessons. "Soph," this was a rare instance when he didn't use his daughter's full name, "what do you wanna do today?"

"No lesson?"

"Not unless you want one." Sophie didn't answer back. "Something wrong, honey?"

"Daddy, am I weird?"

"You heard me and Mommy at Noah's birthday didn't you?" Sophie nodded. "I'd love to tell you no, but Mommy was right."

"You like to be right dontcha Daddy?"

"Yeah, it's a pride thing."

"Mommy took me to a playground once."

"Yeah, I remember."

"She had more fun than I did."

"Mommy always knew how to have fun wherever she went; she's like that."

"Do I know how to have fun?"

"Well, it depends on what you think is fun. What do you like to do that makes you happy?" Sophie shrugged. "Huh, I guess by trying to keep you educated and isolated I took away from any real happiness."

"I guess so."

Robbie thought of something and spontaneously said to his daughter, "Go get dressed."

"Why?"

"You and I are going somewhere."

"Where are we going?"

"We're gonna go have fun."

...

Speaking of fun, it seemed as though Tori had fun as she stepped out of Andre's car later that evening. "I cannot believe how much fun that was!" She was all smiles. "I forgot how much fun carnivals were."

"Yeah, they are aren't they?" Andre agreed.

"I just can't believe that-" when Tori opened the door to her house, Max and Tony burst out of the house and onto the front lawn where they began to wrestle. "Hi boys."

Max managed to wave. "Hey Ms. V."

"Hi Mom! Hi Mr. Harris! Tony greeted. "KNEE DROP!" Tony jumped onto Max making sure Max was hit by primarily Tony's knee.

"It's a nice knee drop, Tony," Tori complimented. "Just don't draw any blood." The boys got back up and charged into the house. "Andre, you wanna come in?"

"Yeah," Andre followed Tori inside.

"Can I get you some coffee or anything?"

"Ooh yeah; us teachers love coffee." Tori laughed. "Hey Tori, can I ask you somethin'?"

"You can ask me anything."

"What made you finally wanna go out with me?"

"You want the truth?"

"Can I handle it?"

"I don't think you'd believe it."

"Try me."

"Okay. Sikowitz told me to go out with you."

"You kiddin'?"

"No, he said I need a man and I should let my guard down and invite you into my life."

"He is a smart man. He stayin' with you?"

"Not for very much longer. The basement started to flood and that's where he sleeps so…you see where that's going."

"Where's he gonna stay?"

"At Beck and Jade's. Why, did you wanna take him?"

"I ain't got no room to take him. I live in a two-bedroom apartment and I already gots a roommate. Isn't it weird for him to be staying with Jade?"

"It was Jade's idea. See, she wanted to go back to work and she felt with Sikowitz around he could help watch the kids." She heard a car pull into the driveway. "Speaking of kids, my daughter's home."

"Annie? I haven't seen her since she was a baby."

"She's grown up a lot since then. Come on, I'll introduce you two." Tori led Andre to the main door as Annie was about to Annie. Tori opened the door for her daughter. "Hi Annie. Annie, I'd like you to meet-"

An angry Annie stomped past her mother. "MAX!"

Max came out of Tony's bedroom with Tony in a headlock. "What up? You get the Twinkies?"

Annie reached for something in her bag and displayed a racing helmet. "I found this in the trunk of your car." Max let go of Tony and stared at her. "You're racing again aren't you?"

"Yeah, so what?"

"So you promised you wouldn't!" She hurled the helmet at Max's chest, but Max caught it.

"I changed my mind."

"You changed your mind?"

"Yeah, I changed my mind."

"What mind?"

"Annie," Tori (as well as Andre and Tony) felt awkward witnessing this argument. "Maybe you should discuss this in private."

"What about house painting?" Annie ignored her.

"I gave it up," Max answered.

"You gave it up?

"Well…Tod and Rod kinda took all the equipment and split. I don't know where they are."

"Didn't I tell you not to trust those guys?"

"I'm not as smart as you, okay! I didn't get 13,000 on my SATs!, okay. I'M STUPID, OKAY!"

"Okay!"

"Annie-"

"Butt out Mom!"

"Um," Andre felt the most awkward, "maybe I should leave."

"No!" Max moved closer to Annie. "Maybe I should leave."

"What do you mean 'maybe'?" Annie questioned back. Max said nothing and left.

"What is it with the women in this family?" Tony was upset. "They make all the men in this family wanna leave!" He followed Max out of the house and slammed the door.

"Well if he thinks I'm having his baby now he's crazy!" Annie stormed off her to her room and slammed the door.

Annie's outburst instantly sank in for Tori. "Andre," Tori had a stunned expression on her face, "did my daughter just say she was having Max's baby?"

"Uh-huh," Andre nodded.

"A baby?"

"You're gonna be a grandmother?"

"Oh no! No, no, no, no, no that's not happening. I am not going to be a grandmother! Grandmothers are Sikowitz's age, maybe older! I'm barely thirty-six years old! Jesus Christ, when I had my daughter at nineteen my mother was forty-one! And even she was too young! This is…this is a dream. This is not happening; I am not going to be a grandmother!"

"You can just feel the awkward."

"I need some booze," Tori went over to a cabinet and dug around in the back until she got out a bottle of whiskey. "Hallelujah!"

"Um, maybe I should go."

"Where are my manners? You want some whiskey?"

"I think I should give you some time to cool off; I gotta start makin' lesson plans anyway; the first day of school is Wednesday. Bye Tori," Andre left.

Sikowitz came up from the basement. "I couldn't help but hear my name."

"Hi Sikowitz," Tori poured herself a small glass of whiskey.

"Good Gandhi, you drink?"

"It's my emergency whiskey."

"Did something happen with Andre?"

"No."

"Come on; tell Sikowitz what's the matter."

"My seventeen year old daughter is going to have a baby."

"Good Gandhi, you have a seventeen year old daughter! You don't look that old."

"I had her a little after I turned nineteen."

"Tell me, how did you feel when you held her for the first time?"

"Sikowitz, what does this have to do with-"

"Just answer my question?"

Tori thought about how to answer. "I dunno, but something felt right. I felt like this was something I destined to do."

"You felt real, unconditional love when you held that tiny thing in your arms?"

"Yeah, yeah I did."

"Did your age matter in that moment?"

Tori sighed in understanding. "No, no it didn't."

"How did you feel when you found out you were going to be a young mother?"

"How any normal young mother would feel. I was scared, I was terrified, I was angry, I was anxious, I was confused."

"Why didn't you get rid of it if there were no positive emotions?"

"Because I could never do that. Annie was a living thing and she was a part of me. I felt that maybe my baby could do so much better than me and not make the same mistakes."

"Yes, but children learn from their mistakes, just as their parents do. And who knows, maybe your grandchild will do so much more better than its mother or grandmother ever could."

Tori smiled at her former teacher. "Thanks a lot, Sikowitz."

"You're welcome," Sikowitz headed back to the basement, "by the way, I'm out of coconut milk."

…

Andre entered his apartment still feeling awkward from what had happened. His roommate took obvious notice. "How did your date go?"

"It went great," he answered, "until we got back to her place."

"Ooh, what happened?"

"Her teenage daughter breaks up with her boyfriend and then announces she's pregnant."

Cat gasped. "Tori's gonna be a grandmother."

"Awkward, ain't it."

"No, I'm happy for her! Tori started having babies first; it's only fair that she has grandbabies first."

"Speakin' of babies," Andre changed the subject, "I saw yours today at the carnival?"

"Sophie was at the carnival?"

"With her Daddy."

"Robbie was there too?" Cat's smiled quickly faded, "I bet he was teaching her about physics and other smarty-pants stuff."

"No, they were just havin' a good time."

"They were?"

"Yeah, Robbie was even givin' Sophie one of them piggy back rides, like the ones he used to give you when the two of you started dating."

"Did you tell him I was here?"

"I wanted to, but he didn't even see us."

"Oh."

"Besides, I thought you wanted him to make the first move."

"He's not going to Andre."

Andre thought about something. "Well, you were the one who made the first move the first time."

"First time?"

"You guys are only separated and neither of you have filed for divorce. You're gonna get back together."

"Thank you Andre."

"No prob, Little Red."

"And you're still going to see Tori even though she's going to be a grandmother."

"Oh, I dunno."

"Andre."

"I s'pose I could. I just don't know if I'm comfortable with a little white kid calling me grandpa," he and Cat shared a laugh together.

…

Beck came home early on Monday to find the house a wreck. Not only did his three kids have the run of the house, but so did their friends. Noah and his friends were running all over the house, Eden and her friends had left toys and food wrappers all over the house, and Damien was wearing a bucket over his head and ramming into whatever or whoever was in his way. "JADE!" Beck tried to make his way upstairs.

"Mom went to go pick up Mr. Sikowitz," Noah informed his dad as he threw a ball to his friend, but the friend missed and the ball hit glass.

"HEY!" Beck whistled for everyone's attention. "Everyone who's not my kid go home!"

"I'm not a-posed to cross the street by myself," a little girl answered.

"Yeah, and my mom's working," another boy informed. "You can't get rid of us this easily Mr. Noah's Dad."

Beck grumbled to himself and went upstairs to try and ignore the chaos to no avail. He clearly was in no mood for any of this. "Why in the hell would she leave the kids alone?"

"Because it wasn't a long drive to Tori's house," Jade was standing in the doorway to their bedroom. "What are you doing home so early?"

"What about the other kids?"

"I called their parents to pick them up. Til then, Sikowitz is downstairs teaching them about acting or something stupid. You seem pissed, somethin' on your mind?"

"I quit my job."

"You did what?"

"I quit."

"Why the hell did you do that?"

"I have been working my ass off for those guys for as long as I can remember and that partnership they promised me went to Ryder Daniels. Ryder Daniels of all people; a guy who leaves his wife and kids and puts all his money in his various girlfriends' names so his wife can't bother him for child support. I couldn't take no more, and I snapped."

"Can you change your mind?"

"What do you mean change my mind? Jade, I quit."

"Clearly; but did you say or do anything that would make it difficult for them to take you back?"

"Jesus, Jade, I thought you'd be a little more supportive."

"I thought you wouldn't do anything this retarded."

"God dammit Jade, it's not like-"

"I'm pregnant." The two of them stared at each other for a few brief moments. "Aren't you gonna say anything or get excited like you did the first three times?"

"How did this happen?"

"Oh come on Beck!"

"I know _how_ it happened! I just…I don't know why."

"It was an accident."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"I wanted to be sure so I had it confirmed this morning. I didn't think you'd do something stupid like quit your job!"

"If you told me there was a chance of you getting pregnant I might've not quit."

"Well if you told me there was a chance of you quitting I might've told you that you knocked me up!"

"Quitting my job was a spur-of-the-moment decision."

"Yeah, and apparently so was this kid's conception."

"Well what do you want me to do? Do you want me to crawl back to my boss and kiss his ass so I get my crappy job back?"

"This puts a slight change in my plans too! I actually wanted to go back to work and now I can't!"

"That's the different between men and women; women have choices, men have responsibilities."

"Is that right? Okay then, I choose for you to get pregnant! You carry a watermelon on your bladder, you get fat, you push the kid out of your body, you breastfeed til your nipples are sore, you stay home with the kids and I'll go back to work."

"Let's return from La-La Land because that ain't gonna happen. And even if I get my job back or find another one I'm still gonna have to spend less time at home. If I need to make enough money to support us I'm gonna have to have business dinners, and play sports I suck at, and I'm gonna have to get guys laid- so I hope you don't mind if I bring a few prostitutes home because that's what it's gonna take to get anywhere and I'm not getting anywhere! You're just gonna have to count on less help from me."

"Just tell me what you're really thinking."

"What Jade? What am I really thinking?"

"That I should have an abortion."

This got Beck to calm down and sit on the bed. "I didn't say that."

"Well you might as well have."

"That's a decision every woman has to make on her own."

"What are you a politician? I want your honest to God opinion about this. Let's say this is your decision; pretend you were someone else like…like your father. What would you want me to do as the mother of your child?"

"I want…" Beck thought this through, "I can't make a decision like this. I want whatever you want."

"Well I did some thinking, and I actually wanna have this baby."

"Good for you!" Beck got off the bed, his calm demeanor gone. "Let's have this kid then! Let's see how I can screw the fourth one up. Hey, I've got an idea, let's have five, or maybe six, or we should have a dozen and pretend they're doughnuts!" Beck slammed his foot onto the wall.

"Maybe we should talk about this-"

"I can't right now. I have to get ready to coach a little league team into last place."

"Do you really have to go?"

"My whole life is 'have to'." Beck went downstairs. "Come on Noah, get ready for little league."

"You said I didn't have to play anymore!" Noah whined.

"I changed my mind! If I have to go, you have to go!"

Jade laid down on the bed. "The way he's been lately not only should I not have this baby, but I shouldn't keep the ones we've got now." She plopped her head onto the pillow. "Fuck my life."

* * *

><p><strong>Thought it would be best to end it here. If you're still wondering; the scenes with TrinaSinjin/Lane, Robbie and his daughter, and Cat & Andre are all scenes from the mind of me.**

**I thought this turned out pretty well, how 'bout you guys?**


	9. Uniting Together

**So if you've all read the last chapter, we had some real serious things that were discussed. ****But I'm sure things'll lighten up eventually.**

**Like in this chapter for example.**

* * *

><p>"This one's to you, Noah!" Beck had Andy pitch him the ball, Beck hit the ball, and hoped that Noah would catch it…but he didn't.<p>

"Get behind the ball so it's easier to come in," this familiar voice had Beck turn around in complete surprise.

"Lane?"

"Hi, Beck."

Beck put the bat down and went over to his Lane. "Wha-what are you doing here?"

"Jade said you were here."

"Did she call you?"

"No, I called asking for you. I need to talk to you."

"Sure, go wait over there." Beck pointed to where he wanted Lane to wait. "Davey, take over for me." Beck followed Lane. "What's up?"

"I need your advice."

"Whoa," Beck seemed surprise, "my head is spinning. Lane Alexander, guidance counselor extraordinaire, needs advice from one of his former students?"

"I'm serious."

"Sorry, I'm just surprised you're coming to me for advice. What's wrong?"

"Trina needs $26,000 to pay off gambling debts, or else she's gonna be killed."

"Geez," Beck whistled in surprise. "So why are you coming to me, why not Tori?"

"For the longest time I've considered you and your closest friends to be like my children. You yourself are a father now. I'm picturing Trina as if she was my daughter and I was her father. But even if I was her real father, I wouldn't know what to do."

"You ever think of getting a hold of Mr. Vega?"

"I have no idea where he is, or else I would. I consider you to be a good father; and I was wondering what you would do."

"You got that kind of money?"

"I do, I saved as much money as I could for retirement." Lane sighed. "I believe counselors and parents share the misfortune of caring too much to help people, and no matter how hard we try not to care or worry those feelings never cease. I care about you, and Tori, and Robbie, all of them, Trina included, as if you were all my children- the same as you care for your own children. And I think that out of all of you, you're the best parent."

"Best? No, I'm not. Much like me, Tori, Robbie, Trina, and the rest, my kids have problems too that even I don't know how to deal with. Noah's in therapy, Damien keeps ramming things with his head, and we got called into school because Eden keeps kissing all the boys, not to mention I don't have a job."

"I believe you worry too much."

"I just don't think I'm the one who can give you this kind of advice."

"I figured, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask. Just answer me something; do you still love your children no matter how bad they turn out to be."

"Yeah, I'll always love them."

Lane patted Beck's shoulder. "That's all I wanted to know. By the way, I think the visiting team's here."

"Shit, already."

"Play ball," Lane whistled a tune as he left.

"You're not gonna stay and watch?"

"I have faith in your team."

"I wish I could say the same."

"Who knows, they might surprise you." Beck watched as Lane went out of sight.

But as the game dragged on, there didn't seem to be anything different for Beck's last place little league team. "They might surprise you," Beck mocked Lane. He looked at the scoreboard. The score was eight to seven, his team ahead by one point. But knowing the way things turned out, the boys would probably lose- those chances always high whenever they played field last. He watched as his son missed another easy to make catch.

"We only need one more out and you can't even catch a ground ball!" Jake criticized Noah. "Don't blow this for us loser!"

"Jake I'm not gonna warn you again; one more comment and you're out- I don't care what happens."

Chad, Jake's father, didn't like this idea. "Why you being a dick to him? Jake's the only real player you got. Jake, we need one more out, catch that ball no matter what, got it!" Jake gave his father a thumbs up.

Andy pitched the ball, and the batter hit it. The ball flew in the air and was going to land near Noah. Jake was taking no chances and was following the ball, he was going to catch it no matter what. But as the ball was about to land in Noah's glove, Jake ran into Noah and the both fell to the ground, the ball still in air. Still, Noah held out his glove, and by some miracle, the ball landed into Noah's glove.

"YOU'RE OUT!" The ump called.

Beck's jaw nearly hit the ground. "We won?" He put his hands to his head in disbelief. "Holy shit WE WON!" He tried to control his excitement even though he was more than ready to do one of those embarrassing victory dances. He just kept clapping as he went over to his team to aid them in celebration.

…

As Beck celebrated that evening, Lane had made a decision. He sat Trina down at his kitchen table the following Tuesday morning. "I'm gonna help you."

"You are?"

"I got in touch with all your associates, and I agreed to pay them $1000 a month until your debts to them are officially paid off."

"Thank you so much, Lane."

"I'm not finished. Starting tomorrow you are going to report to work at eight in the morning."

"Work?"

"I pulled some strings and convinced a director of a cable access show to hire you as an assistant."

"TV work?" Trina smiled. "That sounds unreal."

"And as long as you agree to keep working and if you agree to go to Gambler's Anonymous, I'll keep paying your debts."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"But let me add like one tiny thing," Lane knew this was way too easy. "About an hour ago I got a call from someone I know in Chile who has a big, more like enormous opportunity. So I was thinking I could go down there for a little while. If it does, fantastic, but if not we'll go with your plan thingy. Sound good?"

Lane sighed, she was never going to change. "Fine."

"But when I go I could use a little…"

"Would $2,000 suffice?"

"That would be great. Well, better get packing."

"What about Cool?"

"Huh?" Trina seemed to have forgotten she had a son. "Jesus, I forgot. This isn't a kind of trip to take your kid on. Look, my friend Hannah in Vegas has a kid and maybe she could take him for-"

"Don't worry about it, Trina."

"Awesome!" Trina ran off to her room- which she had to herself while Cool shared a room with Sinjin- and pulled out all of her suitcases.

Standing in the hallway, Cool noticed his mother singing (horribly) to herself as she packed. Looking solemn, he made his way into the kitchen where Lane was still sitting. "My mom's packing like she's going away again."

"She is," Lane informed the six year old.

"Is she leaving today?"

"I think so."

"Where to?"

"Someplace far from here."

"Am I going too?"

"Not if you don't want to."

"Will my Mom come back?"

"Honestly Cool, I don't think so." He watched the expression on Cool's face become more solemn. "Would you like to stay here with me and Sinjin?"

"Yeah, I'd like that a lot!"

"Good."

"Do I still have to go to school?"

"You say that as if you don't want to. Are you trying to weasel your way out of going to school?" Cool looked up at Lane and laughed. "If you live with me and Sinjin, you still have to go to school."

"Aww."

"Nice try though," Lane tousled Cool's hair. "Why don't you go get dressed and we'll go finish getting your supplies and have lunch."

"Okay."

Lane watched Cool leave the kitchen and smiled to himself. "Good kid."

…

The day went by fast and before anyone knew it, it was the first day of school. Andre came into the teacher's lounge looking tired and cranky while a perky Cat waved. "Hi Andre! Aren't you excited for the first day of school?" For some reason, she seemed extra bouncy.

"How much coffee did you have girl?" he asked.

"None, I always get excited on the first day of school."

"That makes one of us." Andre poured himself some coffee. "I am not looking forward to today." He drank it all in one cup, and then poured himself another.

"KK, well see you later Andre," Cat left the teacher's lounge and headed to her classroom where she was more than surprised to find her husband standing outside. "Robbie, what are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you," Robbie moved out of the way so that a kid could get into the classroom.

"Now?"

"I want you to come home. This separation isn't good for Sophie she's having a hard time concentrating and-"

"Morning Mrs. Shapiro," a boy greeted as he past her.

"Hi Kenny!" Cat put one foot in the classroom. "Robbie, I gotta go now."

"It's bad for me too. Cat, I love you."

Cat stepped back outside. "Those are just words Robbie, they don't always solve anything."

"Then I'll change."

"I don't think you're capable of change. I have a class to teach," she fought back tears as she went into the classroom and left Robbie in a now empty hallway.

Robbie sighed and started walking away until he bumped into someone. "Andre?"

"HI ROBBIE!" Cleary, the coffee had perked up Andre. "REALGOODTOSEEYOUMAN. HOWARETHINGS?"

"Did you have a little too much coffee there Andre?"

"NOT ENOUGH!" He was bouncing off the walls now. "I'MSOEXCITEDTOSTARTTEACHIN'MUSICCLASS."

"I can barely understand what you're saying?"

"NEITHERCANI!" Andre let out an excited scream.

"You don't need to keep shouting."

"BELIEVEMEI'MTRYIN'NOTTO!"

"Forgive me for this," Robbie slapped Andre across Andre's face.

"Thanks Rob," Andre thanked, "that actually helped."

"Glad I was of some use."

"Hey man, why so glum?"

"I don't think Cat thinks I love her anymore. I asked her to come home; I even told her I would change."

"Then you just gotta prove you can change."

"How?"

Andre thought about this. "Might I suggest through the power of music."

"Are you saying that because you're a music teacher?"

"Partly, but you'd be surprised what the power of music can do for some people and situations."

Robbie had an idea. "You have a spare guitar in your classroom?"

"Always," Andre led Robbie to the music room.

Meanwhile in the English room, Cat had finished passing out a classroom syllabus. "I know you guys hate these things, but I gotta pass 'em out. Now I forgot a few other things on there and I want you to add them to your syllabus," Cat turned her back to the students and started writing on the blackboard. She instantly turned around when she heard the classroom door shut. "Robbie, please go; I could lose my job if you don't." He started playing a guitar.

"I'm not leaving until you come home," Robbie was serious.

"Is this really the time or place to discuss this? And what gives? This doesn't seem like something you would do."

"I have to prove to you how much I love you and that I'm willing to change."

"With a guitar?"

"With music." Robbie continue to play the guitar and started to sing while playing the guitar and slowly moving toward Cat.

"_I know I stand in line  
>Until you think you have the time<br>To spend an evening with me  
>And if we go someplace to dance<br>I know that there's a chance  
>You won't be leaving with me"<em>

"Robbie, what are you doing?"

"_Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place  
>And have a drink or two<br>And then I go and spoil it all  
>By saying something stupid<br>Like I love you"_

"Robbie, we're trying so hard to keep these kids off drugs."

"_I can see it in your eyes  
>You still despise the same old lines<br>You heard the night before  
>And though it's just a line to you<br>For me it's true  
>And never seemed so right before"<em>

Cat was nervously looking around the room. "This is the song we danced to at our wedding."

"_I practice every day to find some clever lines to say  
>To make the meaning come true<br>But then I think I'll wait until the evening gets late  
>And I'm alone with you"<em>

"It's a wedding kind of song."

"_The time is right  
>Your perfume fills my head<br>The stars get red  
>And oh the night's so blue<br>And then I go and spoil it all  
>By saying something stupid<br>Like I love you_

_I love you  
>I love you"<em>

"Robbie, you're crazy." Cat was trying to not let her guard down.

Robbie started to wind down the guitar and finished off the song with…

"_I love you"_

By this point he was face to face with his wife. "Cat, I love you please come home."

"Oh, Robbie," she threw herself into his embrace and they started what seemed like a never-ending kiss while a bunch of seventh graders applauded.

…

Tori pulled into the parking lot of a racing speedway and met up with her daughter. "Okay Annie I'm here, what's going on?"

"Mom, I'm so worried. Max just got into the car, I'm afraid he's gonna kill himself."

"Annie."

"Could you try and talk him out of it?"

"Annie, I'm not his mother."

"Please, Mommy, please."

"Great now I'm Mommy," she tried to get over to Max, but the race was about to begin.

"Oh crap he's about to start!"

"Is that your brother?" Tori led Annie over to where Tony, dressed like a pit crew member, was standing in the sidelines. "Tony?"

"Hi, Mom," Tony greeted.

"What are you doing?"

"I was helping Max work on his car. Isn't it awesome; in eight seconds, he's gonna be a legend."

"It's drag racing, not bull fighting."

"It's about to go!" Tori and her kids watched as Max was about to drag race with another champion racer. And for a few seconds, he seemed to be doing pretty well until his car spun out of control and made a loud crash against the guardrail.

"Holy shit!" Tori and her kids ran to where the scene happened.

At the scene, the car was being set upright. Once it was upright and the smoke had settled (thanks to fire extinguishers), they removed Max's helmet. Max looked around and asked, "Did I win?"

"Come on, let's get him on the truck," race officials helped Max out of the car and started leading him to the rescue car.

"My brother's car, I killed the car."

"Max, are you okay?" Tony inquired.

"I think so."

"Well, we're gonna take him to first aid just to be sure," an official assured.

"Annie," Tori noticed Annie just standing feet away from the scene in confusion. "Annie, let's go."

"I can't!" Annie protested. "This is too intense."

"This is marriage! Now get in the truck." Tori led Annie to the truck where Tony and Max were already waiting.

"Hey Dude," a hippie looking guy approached Max, "can you do that again next week, 'cause that was awesome."

"Whatever," Max rolled his eyes. "That's a good job for me, crash dummy."

"Don't put yourself down like that," Tori told him, "you're very important."

"Yeah Ms. V?" Tori nodded. "Why?"

"Why? Because you're gonna be the father of my grandchild, that's why."

Max and Annie stared at each other for a few moments, before Annie got teary eyed and made her way into Max's arms. "I love you," Annie whispered to him.

"I love you too," Max whispered back.

"I was so scared you were really hurt."

Tori smiled a satisfied smile as they got off the truck and to the first aid station. "Hey Mom," Tony stayed near his mother.

Tori looked at her son. "Yeah?"

"You just saved their marriage."

"I guess I did."

"That was pretty cool."

"Well, I give them six months…four if she cooks."

"You don't think it'll last?"

"Honestly Honey, the odds aren't good."

"Then why'd you say that? Why'd you try to keep 'em together?"

"Because you and Annie want Max in your lives. Whatever you kids want, I wanna get for you. I suppose, that's the best I can do."

"Cool." There was a brief pause. "Can I tell you something?"

"You can tell me anything."

"I'm glad you're going out with Mr. Harris."

"You are? Why?"

"He's pretty cool, and really funny. He's the kinda guy that'd be nice to you like a guy should."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Tori smiled. "I think I could get used to that."

* * *

><p><strong>Endin' it there. Well, there's only two chapters to go before we come to an end. The next one only revolves around one family before going to the end, but I've decided to work something out to try and bring them in before they're all together again for the last chapter.<strong>

**If anyone cares, the song is called **_**Somethin' Stupid**_** and the version I used was the Robbie Williams & Nicole Kidman (yes, the actress Nicole Kidman) version. If you wanna listen to it, it's on my tumblr. Because it won't do the full thing, here's how to get to it. You can type the http:/ thing if you want but it also works w/out it . Type my username (bluecinderella4), then **tumblr**, the dot com, and then after that it's **/post/18235276524/

**If that link won't work, just go to my tumblr and look it up in the February 2012 archives. It's a really good song, and I didn't use the full version of it if you wanna hear the full version.**


	10. Roller Coaster of Life

**Well, that was an awkward Easter weekend for me. It's not visiting w/ the unknown relatives, it's also not having internet and forgetting my flashdrive to transfer computer files so I got no fanfic related work done. Then Monday got all manic (lol) and I didn't really have to time to work on this fanfic. So if people were weirded out that I didn't update so quickly, you now know.**

**Now this is like the second to last chapter and it largely focused on Gil's family at a certain event before going into the final scene. Well, this will also focus on the main family, but I'm gonna bring in the others too just 'cause I can and I thought it'd be fair.**

**But enough from me, here's the next part.**

* * *

><p>It seemed things were looking better for everyone. Tori had more or less come to terms with her daughter's pregnancy and was letting her guard down and dating Andre, Sinjin was in talks to legally adopt Cool, Lane had decided to come out, Cat and Robbie were back together, and it seemed things had chilled in the Oliver House- and with Sikowitz living there any type of mellowness seemed rare.<p>

However, there was just something missing. Jade had told Beck a little over two months ago that she was pregnant and that she was gonna keep the baby. It was early November and it seemed as though Beck hadn't come to terms with this news. Their friends were excited by the new baby, as were the kids, but for Beck...it was as if this whole thing hadn't sunk in yet.

But life still went on and in early November the family was getting ready to attend an elementary school performance of _Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs_ featuring the involvement of Eden and her entire grade.

"I think we're gonna have to tape over something," Beck informed Jade as she was sewing part of Eden's costume. "You wanna type over Cat and Robbie's wedding?"

"No!" Jade objected.

"Well, how 'bout Tori's I mean we all know how that one ended."

"Don't tape over anything dumbass!"

"Language!"

"If you really wanna film this than use my camera."

"Where is it?"

"How the hell should I know?"

"It's your camera!"

Eden ran over to her mother. "Mom are my ears ready?"

"Almost," Jade went back to sewing. "Go get your costume on and tell Uncle Sikowitz we're gonna leave."

Eden went past her dad and brothers, who were in the other room. "Eden, Sweetie, do you know your lines?" Beck asked.

Eden groaned. "I don't have any lines, I'm Dopey."

"I'll say," Noah remarked, earning a few hits from his sister.

"Hey!" Beck reprimanded Eden. "Noah, why don't you put your brother in his booster seat and wait in the car?"

"I have to do everything!" Noah stood up without bothering to help Damien. "Come on Shrimp." Damien responded by ramming his head into Noah's stomach. "And I'm the one that needs therapy."

"I'm not a shrimp," Damien bemoaned as he followed his brother to the car.

Beck sort of shrugged this off and turned to look at his wife. Jade was sitting in a dining room chair, a baby bump barely protruding, and fixing her daughter's costumed ears. Without any warning, and for no reason, Beck just said to her, "I love you."

Jade looked back at him without any emotion. "Yeah, sure, love you too."

"No, I mean I really love you."

"You smoke some pot or something?"

"Excuse me for giving you a sentimental compliment."

"I hate sentiments."

"You hate everything. Oh, and my former boss called me today. He was crying, legitimately crying."

"I do love when men cry in pain."

"He was begging for me to come back."

"I do love when people beg."

"He promised me a corner office with new furniture, oh yeah, and a raise. Like that's supposed to make up for everything."

"You didn't take the job?"

"No, I did. I thought it'd be the smart thing to do."

"It was."

Beck then changed the subject. "We have three, and now you wanna have a fourth. Geez the fourth one could be like Trina or someone worse."

"Who's worse than Trina?"

"And this one might do things that just…just…make massive mistakes."

"What if it doesn't?"

"But what if it does?"

"Jesus Beck what do you want a guarantee? You're talking about human beings not appliances. Everyone makes mistakes in life they have to learn from, hell life is a mistake that every human has to learn from. Life is messy."

"I hate messy it's so…messy."

"You know," Sikowitz appearing from behind them surprisingly didn't startle them (then again, Beck was rarely scared of anything), "this reminds me of the very first time I rode a roller coaster."

"Oh does it Sikowitz?"

"It was the fastest thing ever and it went up, then down, then up, then down, then did some strange loopy thing, and then back to the up and down portion."

"What a nice story."

"I wanted to ride every roller coaster in the park that day. And yet, I was so scared of that ride and vomited on more than one occasion. But it was so exciting, and got my adrenaline going and I liked that feeling. A lot of people don't like roller coasters you know. Those losers ride the merry-go-round thing that just goes in a slow circle with creepy horses. You get so much more out of riding a roller coaster than you ever do a merry-go-round," Sikowitz shrugged. "I suppose I'll be in the car," as he went to the door, he turned back, "and we're also out of coconut milk." He left whistling some tune.

Jade had a small smile on her face. "The man might be a crazed whackjob but he's smarter than we all think." She snatched up the ears and stood up to leave.

Beck seemed unfazed by Sikowitz's story. "Yeah, a minute ago I was confused about life and then Erwin Sikowitz came in with a story about a stupid roller coaster and then everything's great again."

Jade hurled the ears at Beck. "Insensitive prick!"

"Excuse you?"

"I happen to like the roller coaster story okay."

"What?"

"And as far as I'm concerned Erwin Sikowitz is brilliant." Jade stormed out.

Frightened screams were heard outside. Beck looked out the window to see what was causing it. "Yeah, if Sikowitz is so brilliant how come he's sitting in our neighbor's car?"

…

Beck and Jade entered the high school auditorium where the performance would be held avoiding each other. Tori couldn't help but notice this when. "Trouble in paradise?" She asked Beck.

"Mood swings probably," Beck suggested. "So, what are you doing here?"

"Andre's supplying the music and I thought I'd support him."

"You do realize this is an elementary school play?"

"He got paid to do this and he's taking me to dinner right after this is over."

"Lucky you. Hey, how're the kids doing?"

"Great. Tony's coming out of his shell more and he's learning to play guitar now."

"How old is he, twelve?"

"Yeah, but they grow up fast. Tony likes this girl now and he's thinking about asking her out but…he's still my baby and I dunno if I want that yet."

"How're Annie and Max?"

"Fine."

"No trouble in paradise for them?"

"Surprisingly no. They're still together, they're happy, and he's eating her cooking."

"God help him."

"I'm glad he's here though, Max isn't so bad. I think he just needs to be around people who actually care about him."

"You care about Max?"

"He is the father of my grandchild." Tori made a small shudder. "It still feels weird saying that."

"Hey, I think you're gonna make a cool grandmother. Your grandkid's friends will think of you as a GILF."

"Don't make me hit you in front of small children."

"Just sayin'!'

As Beck was talking to Tori, Jade was trying to avoid people in general. "Hi Jade!"

Too late. "Sinjin," she faked a smile, "come to stalk me again?"

"I wish. I talked to this lawyer who says the sure-fire way to help make this adoption faster is not to do anything illegal or unnatural in public."

"Adoption?"

"Yeah, Lane is helping me legally adopt Cool."

"Wow, that's actually kinda sweet," Jade swallowed something in her throat, "no wait, I just threw up in my mouth. I hate sweet."

"I just thought if I saw you'd I see Eden and wish her luck."

"No, she's backstage with the other snot-nosed brats already. Look, as awkward and boring as this is I'm going to end this."

"Aww!"

"I'm going to go pick a seat for me and my family, please stay as far away from us as possible."

"Yes my love."

"And please find someone else to stalk." Jade entered the auditorium to find someplace to sit. Instantly, a perky redhead spotted her and started waving. "JADE, HI!"

"Shit," Jade felt obligated to go and talk to her. "Cat, what are you doing here?"

"I love plays. Robbie and I also thought it'd be a good idea for Sophie to see what acting's really like."

"You're still together?"

"Uh-huh!"

"So he's actually more…well he was never normal to begin with, but he's more tolerable."

"He's like the old Robbie again!"

"Honestly, I never liked him then either."

"Don't be mean."

Jade rolled her eyes and decided to leave. "I'm gonna go find someplace to sit."

"You can sit with us! There's room for your family and Sikowitz."

"Pass."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I wanna sit as far away from you-" Cat began to make a pouty face, "-I mean as close to the stage so I can film my kid."

"KK!"

"So, bye." Jade continued into the auditorium and found some seats for her and her brood.

Beck and her sons (and Sikowitz) soon joined her. "You sure you couldn't get any seats closer to the front?" Beck questioned.

"I like it here."

"I just hope it's good enough to film the show."

"If it isn't then use the stupid zoom thing or move closer!"

"Aren't we just a ray of sunshine today?"

"_Ladies and Gentlemen," _a voice began over a loudspeaker in the booth, _"our show will being momentarily._"

"The sooner the better," Jade remarked.

"Can you at least try to care?" Beck asked her.

"Can you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"THAT'S MY LINE!" Cat had heard Beck use her trademark catchphrase.

"Just leave me alone, Beck," Jade turned away from him as the lights began to dim.

…

When the kids playing the seven dwarfs entered through the set door, they received a decent amount of applause from the adults as designated piano music played a tune they entered with.

"It's good to be home," the first dwarf practically seemed like a normal kid acting in a play.

"Yeah, I guess," the kid behind her didn't seem interested.

"HEY!" the third one was overacting. "Somebody stole our dishes!"

The fourth kid opened her mouth to speak but didn't. Apparently, somebody had forgotten their lines. "Um…"

"They're not stolen, they're put away," the teacher backstage whispered loudly.

"THEY'RE NOT STOLEN!" the line-forgetter yelled. There was another long pause as the kid clearly forgot the next part.

"They're not stolen, they're put away," the teacher repeated.

"THEY'RE NOT STOLEN, THEY'RE PUT AWAY!"

A snoring sound effect was heard and a new kid spoke. "What was that?"

"It came from the bedroom, I guess," the uninterested kid stated as there was another pause. "Oh yeah, I think it's like a monster or somethin'."

"Somebody should go see what it is," the sixth dwarf suggested.

"Not me!" a barrage of voices from six dwarfs were heard as Eden backed away in acting.

"Let Dopey do it!" kid number five requested.

"Yeah," the others agreed as Eden shook her head no and her ears and hat fell off.

Meanwhile in the audience, Damien noticed his sister shaking her head no. "No!"

"Come on Dopey," kids one, five, and three started to gently push Eden in one direction as one of them managed to get her hat back on.

"They're hurting my sister!" Unaware that this was acting, Damien jumped out of his seat and ran toward the stage.

Tori, who was sitting a row in front of them, noticed this and turned around. "Uh guys, I think you better take care of him," she pointed to Damien.

"Dammit, he's moving." by the time Beck noticed this, Damien was practically at the stage.

"Shit," Jade was the first up out of the seat as her husband followed her to the end of their aisle. "Damien, get back here!"

"I'll save you Eden!" Damien climbed up the side steps and ran to his sister's aide. "Get away from my sister!" He started to punch the other dwarfs.

"Damien!" Beck tried to coax his son back over to them, but he and his wife didn't wanna embarrass themselves by getting on the stage. He and his wife watched as Damien started to push other dwarfs, and even ram his head into one of their stomachs.

"Get your ass up there and bring him back!"

"I can't," Beck gestured to the people blocking the aisleways filming the action. "Those idiots are in the way."

Pretty soon the teacher was on stage trying to catch Damien, but he started to run so she chased him. By this point, Jade had given up and stayed where she was and just laughed.

Beck however, didn't seem amuse. And neither did the lady beside him whose daughter played the main role. "He's ruining the whole play!" she criticized.

As Beck tried to ignore this he heard another woman say, "I think that's the Oliver's kid."

Standing frozen in his spot, Beck could only hear the sounds of rattling metal, as if he was on a moving roller coaster or something. He suddenly became dizzy and felt as if he was on an actual roller coaster; the room was spinning, people could be heard screaming, everything seemed to be moving up and down in fast motion, and Beck felt as if he was gonna throw up. He put his hands to his face in anxiousness as everything stopped moving and it sounded like the ride had come to a complete stop. Not knowing what happened, or what to do next, Beck looked around. Looking at the stage he saw two teachers trying to chase after Damien, and inadvertently knocking down the set as Damien ran over and rammed his head into another kid's stomach before running over to his big sister and giving her a hug.

And for whatever reason, Beck just stood there and laughed. He understood the subtext in Sikowitz's story; life was one big rollercoaster- it's scary, it's fast, it's exciting, it can make you sick, but what a ride it is. You can't always be prepared for everything even though you think you might know. With a small smile on his face, he turned to his wife. "Hey."

Jade turned back to him. "What?"

Beck put his hand on her stomach and held it there. Usually, Jade hated when people did that, but for some reason she didn't mind. She put her hand on his in understanding and smiled up at him. They didn't need to say anything else as they embraced each other and kissed amidst the chaos of an elementary school play gone awry.

* * *

><p><strong>I always found that to be a sweet moment in the movie. And honestly, I wasn't sure how to convey that into words so I hope I did a good job with that.<strong>

**That's practically the last scene in the movie and really the last scene that features any dialogue with the exception of a few lines. So I'm gonna add a bunch of original dialogue and miscellaneous things in addition to compensate for it being an original chapter (and because I secretly wanna get this thing over with).**


	11. Epilogue

**I feel as though I've accomplished something by practically dominating the movie remake category for the 2012 Topaz Awards here on the **_**Victorious**_** forums…but that only makes me feel bad for LizArianaJadeCat 'cause her work is pretty awesome too and all I do is movie rip-offs. So by all means go ahead and vote for her, that seems fairer and I'm all about fairness…**

…**I wish I could say the same for the non-humble side of my brain who wants me to win but I'm a nice person and I don't care who wins in any category- it's just nice to be nominated and I wish best of luck to everyone.**

**Okay, so this fanfic is coming to an end (HOOR-AWW!). Usually, I make original endings, but for this one I just couldn't come up with one. But the ending to this movie was a montage of the families set to Randy Newman instrumental music so I'm gonna create a bunch of dialogues and 'where are they now' things, and end on a happy note.**

**Thank you for sticking w/ me and my weirdness and making this one of my fastest reviewed stories. I can't thank you guys enough, you're all so awesome. And by all means, see this movie again (or for the first time) to see if you guys think it fit the movie or if you wanna picture the characters in the given roles.**

**So, here's the final part.**

* * *

><p><em>Some Time Later<em>

Beck sat at his work desk with the phone to his ear with clear annoyance expressed on his face. "I understand that he totally screwed everything up Mr. Harper and I'm willing to fix everything if you just…" there was a buzz at the other end, "...listen…okay…look Mr. Harper I have another more important call and I was wondering if we could talk later...okay…uh-huh…I understand…yes, people at this company are sons of bitches…goodbye Mr. Harper," Beck hung up on the client. "Hello…now…something wrong or…well I don't keep track of those things…okay fine, I'll call everyone else." Beck slammed the phone down, hurried for his things, and bolted out of his office calling people on his cell phone that he had on speed dial. The first person on speed dial was Lane.

"_Hello_," Lane answered.

"Go time."

"_Be right there,_" Lane hung up his phone.

"One down," Beck went to the next person on speed dial.

"_Already heard it, on our way."_

"Good to know," Beck threw the phone down and got into his car where he drove to his house.

"And thus creating the state of Kentucky," Sikowitz was telling a story to Beck's kids.

"I don't think aliens created Kentucky," Noah didn't believe Sikowitz's information.

"I didn't say aliens, I specifically said mutants; pay better attention. Oh look, one of your parental units is home."

"Hi Dad!" the kids all greeted.

"Okay guys, we gotta go meet Mom at the hospital," Beck informed.

"Now?"

"Yes, now. Go on and bring a toy or something I don't know how long we'll be there."

"Can I bring your laptop?" Noah inquired.

"No, you cannot bring my laptop."

"Then can I bring the blu ray."

"No, you cannot bring the blu ray."

"Then how am I supposed to watch _Family Guy_?"

"You're not supposed to watch _Family Guy_."

"Mom doesn't care."

"Well, I'm not Mom. Now go on, go get something." Beck watched as Noah grumbled his way up the stairs. "I can't help that life sucks, Noah, now go get something."

"Daddy, can I bring my coloring book?" Eden asked.

"Absolutely."

"Can I bring my doll?"

"Absolutely."

"Can I bring my pet hamster?"

"Absolutely not."

"You're no fun."

"Life's no fun. Now go get your non-living things." Damien tugged on his father's pant leg. "What's your problem?" Damien rammed his head into his father's leg. "Good to know you still haven't outgrown that yet. But if you're gonna do that at the hospital don't forget to wear your helmet." The boy stuck his tongue out at his father. "You say that now, but you'll thank me when you don't have brain damage."

"Oh ease up on the lad," Sikowitz reprimanded. "I recall when I was a young boy I used to continuously ram my head into things without wearing a helmet."

"And how did that turn out for ya?"

"Do what now?'

"Thought so." Beck stood at the foot of the stairs. "Come on guys, let's go!" His older kids ran down the stairs. "You good to go?"

"Do we really have to go?" Noah whined.

"Yes, we really have to go."

"But the last time we went was so boring."

"Life's boring, son. Come on, let's go." The kids shuffled out the door. "You coming Sikowitz?"

Sikowitz shrugged. "Eh, why not; it's not like I have anything better to do since they cancelled _My Favorite Martian_."

"They cancelled that show a long, long time ago Sikowitz."

"TV show? What are you talking about?"

"Never mind, let's just get going now if we don't wanna get caught in traffic."

"Where are we going this time?"

"Have you been putting coconut milk in your cereal again?"

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"Just try to be a little more normal in public please."

Sikowitz scoffed. "Pfft, normal."

…

Beck and his company were at the hospital in about forty-five minutes (not counting the stop at _Wendy's_ for Frosties). After riding the elevator to the fourth floor and searching for the waiting room, they met up with Sinjin. "Any word, nerd?" Beck greeted as the kids ran off to play with the other kids.

"Should be within the hour or so," Sinjin answered.

"How long have you been here?"

"I actually got here about fifteen minutes ago."

"Good to know."

"I went on a date."

"With a woman?"

"Yeah, I met her at some PTA thing. Her name's Elise and her daughter Lilly is in Cool's class."

"And she's real?"

"Totally. And get this, she's a Galaxer!"

"A what now?"

"She's into _Galaxy Wars_ like me and Robbie! Elise can pull some strings and get us into Webicon this summer."

"Wow, you'll be seen in public together, nice. She must have a great personality."

"She does. Oh," Sinjin pulled out his phone, "this is what she looks like."

Beck's jaw nearly hit the floor. "DAMN!"

"Whoa, watch the language in front of the kids."

"What's the use of profanity for?" Sikowitz asked.

"Check out Sinjin's girlfriend," Beck passed the phone to Sikowitz.

"GOOD GANDHI SHE'S HOT."

"Really?" Sinjin took his phone back looked at the picture. "I thought she was attractive at most." He shrugged and took a seat beside Lane.

Lane noticed Beck and Sikowitz's expressions, "Saw a picture of Elise, huh?"

"And this is a real woman?" Beck asked.

"Be nice. Sinjin and Elise really like each other and their kids are friends with each other. He invited her to come and wait with us, but she's going to visit her late husband's grave for his birthday."

"Aww, she's a widow."

"Her husband died of cancer a little after their daughter was born."

"Gee, that sucks."

"Well, this is a happier occasion and I feel it's best we not talk about this kind of stuff."

"Amen to that!" Sikowitz wandered through the waiting room.

"I think I'm gonna find Jade," Beck left Lane and searched for his wife. "Hey," he came across Annie and her baby. "You guys seen Jade?"

"Yeah, she and Max went to get some food from the cafeteria," Annie answered.

Beck sat beside Annie and tousled the small amount of hair on her son's head. "Geez, he's getting big."

Annie smiled. "You can't even tell this kid is mine, he takes after his father in every way possible."

"I think he has your nose."

"Ugh, God forbid."

Beck let out a small laugh as Sikowitz came by. "Tori, have you de-aged?"

"Uncle Sikowitz, I'm Annie. You know, Tori's daughter," Annie corrected.

"Right. This must be your brother Tony."

"No, Tony's over there. This is my son Axel."

"Axel? What kind of name is Axel?"

"It's his name."

"Who am I to judge what the young people decided nowadays?" Sikowitz continued his way whistling some tune.

"What up," Max made his way over to them. "I got the Twinkies."

"They have Twinkies in the cafeteria?" Beck asked.

"Naw, I got 'em at the nearest gas station."

"Did Jade go with you?"

"Oh your Mrs? Yeah she just made a pit stop in the bathroom." Max took his son from Annie. "What up Bud? Wanna Twinkie?"

"You sure it's a good idea to feed a Twinkie to a baby?"

"It's cool, they're soft."

"I'm not gonna interfere." When he saw Jade enter the waiting room with their baby, he got up to greet them. "Hello ladies," he gave his wife a romantic peck on her lips, and their daughter a small kiss on her head.

"Nice to see you showed up," she remarked.

"How was the visit to the pediatrician?"

"I honestly don't know why we had to go. There's nothing wrong with this one…not yet anyway."

Beck looked at his daughter. "Mommy doesn't mean that, sweetie."

"Just take the kid and sit somewhere." she passed the baby to Beck and adjusted the bag on her shoulder to fit more comfortably. "Looks like everybody but Trina showed up."

"God only knows what happened to Trina."

"I say good riddance to bad rubbish."

"Hi Mommy!" Eden ran over to her mother. "Mommy, can I hold Giselle?"

"Whatever."

"Yay!" Eden sat beside her father.

"Hold her just like we taught you okay," Beck passed Giselle to Eden. "Remember to keep her head up."

"I know Daddy."

A brunette in a ponytail and bow ran over to them. "Can I hold the baby next?"

"Sure you can Soph, right after Eden's done. You're gonna need practice now you know."

"Yeah, I guess."

"You guess?"

"I guess."

Beck shrugged. "So Jade, did you hear about Sinjin's girlfriend?"

"Imaginary."

"Real."

"Ugly."

"Hot."

"There's somethin' wrong with the chick."

"She's into _Galaxy Wars_."

"That explains so much."

"Hey, my daddy likes that stuff!" Sophie protested.

"Well I don't like your daddy."

"I'm telling him you said that."

"What do I care, he already knows."

"You're mean."

"Tell me something I don't know."

"Jade," Beck glared at her.

"What? I'm not gonna dumb down my conversations to please kids, I don't do it for ours and I'm sure as hell not gonna do it for Robbie's kid."

"Language."

"I don't give a fu-"

"Hey guys!" Lane drew attention to him, "I think this is the message we've been waiting for." Everyone was quiet as Lane read his recent text message.

Cat, who was visibly pregnant, leaned forward where she was sitting. "What's it say? What's it say?"

Sitting beside her was her husband, who was fiddling with some springy antennas on his head. "Yeah, don't keep us in suspense, what's it say?"

Tony moved a little closer. "Are you sure it's even from Andre?"

"It was from Andre," Lane confirmed. "They just finished with the C-section and he must've accidentally sent it mid-sentence before I found anything else out. I'll text him back." Lane did so. "We should hear back from him soon." There was a ding. "What'd I tell ya?" He read over this message. "It's a girl!" everyone cheered in excitement as a bitter Jade pulled out her wallet and handed her husband cash.

"Does she have a name yet or what?" Annie asked.

"I'll ask." It took a few moments for a reply. "Not yet, but they're leaning toward the names Bianca or Melody, they're still unsure, but we should all be getting a pic soon."

"Ugh," Jade made a disgusted face, "why do those name choices suck so much?"

"Jade, why can't you just be happy?"

"Because I just lost twenty bucks."

Cat made a pouty face. "Why aren't you happy for Tori and Andre?"

"I don't show happy emotions." She paused as everyone looked at her. "But yeah, I'm happy for them."

"Atta girl babe," Beck gave his wife a quick kiss on the cheek and they got up to go mingle with everyone else in celebration.

Annie went over to her brother and gave him a hug. "So, you upset that you got another sister?"

"Nah," Tony admitted, "I think this sorts of levels the playing field at the house now."

"You upset that Max and I moved into Andre's old apartment?"

Tony shrugged. "It's quieter without you guys." The Landis siblings shared a small laugh before hugging each other again.

"This is such a joyous occasion!" Sikowitz was heard shouting. He reached into his pocket and pulled out celebratory cigars. "Here," he handed one to Max.

"Um…" Max was clueless as to why he got one, "…thanks Dude. What do I do with this?"

"It's a tradition that after a birth announcement gentlemen in the waiting room smoke cigars."

"Yeah, an ancient tradition," Sinjin joked.

"Here," Sikowitz shoved a cigar in Sinjin's mouth, "have one."

Sinjin pointed to a clearly marked sign. "But the sign says no smoking."

Sikowitz went over and stood in front of the sign. "What sign?" He chuckled. "Here," he stopped a passing by Noah and handed him a cigar, "congratulations."

Jade noticed this and snatched up the cigar. "Hell no."

"Language, Babe!" Beck called to her as he held their infant daughter.

"Hey Beck," Robbie stood near where Beck was sitting. "I heard you made some money. You and Jade made a bet?"

"Yeah, but usually she always wins. This is rare for me."

"Are you guys making a bet with the sex of my baby too?"

"I bet one Andrew Jackson that it's a boy."

"Hmm," Robbie smirked and walked away.

"Hey! Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"

"THAT'S MY LINE!" Cat yelled to him.

"Robbie, do you know something I don't?"

"I might; but then again I might not." He went over to his daughter. "Soph, want a piggy back ride?"

"Yeah!" Robbie set her on her shoulders as she played with his headwear. "Can I have my springy antennas too?"

"You sure can." He went over to where he was originally sitting and lowered himself to get a miniature antenna headband for her.

With proud excitement, Sophie put on her antennas. "Buzz buzz, I'm a bee."

"Are you? Because," Robbie started to talk in a funny voice, "I am an alien robot."

"You're funny, Daddy."

Cat went over to her family. "Having fun?"

"Almost," Robbie handed her another antenna headband. "Come on Mommy put on your springy antennas."

"Yeah," Sophie agreed. "Come on Mommy."

"KK," Cat smiled and happily put on her antennas. "Ta-da!"

"Yay!"

"How do I look?" She asked Robbie.

"The alien robot finds the redhead attractive," Robbie's voice made Cat burst into a giggling fit. "No but seriously," he gave her a kiss, "you look gorgeous as always."

"I know," she kissed him back.

"EWW!" Sophie shielded her eyes from the affection.

"YUCK!" Cool agreed. "Lane, why do people have to kiss?"

"You'll find out when you're older," Lane replied.

Sinjin joined his housemates. "Do people still pass out cigars?" He asked as he handed Lane his cigar.

"No, and I confiscated Sikowitz's cigars. I'm going to go have a talk with that man."

"What Sikowitz did might be frowned upon, but he means well."

"Sikowitz is funny," Cool stated.

"Yeah, he is. But promise me you won't ever smoke."

"I promise Dad."

Sinjin gave his newly adopted son a hug. "That's my boy."

"Dad, how old do you have to be to have a baby?"

"Uh…why don't you go ask Lane?"

"Okay," Cool headed over to Lane. "Hi Eden," he greeted as he passed her.

"Hi Cool," Eden waved back as she cradled her doll. "I can't wait til I have a baby then you'll have a sister," she said to her doll. "What?" she pretended the doll talked back. "No, you'll never have an icky brother." She pressed a kiss to the already worn out doll and the doll's head popped off. "NO!" she started to cry.

"It's okay," Noah hurried over to her with his baseball glove and pretended the doll's head was a baseball, making Eden laugh. "You can still play with your doll."

She gave her brother a side-hug. "You're the best brother ever!"

"Let's hope Damien didn't hear that," the two watched as Damien rammed his head into a wall with a flowerpot over his head. "You ever think that maybe he's adopted?"

"Oh bollacks on you," Sikowitz was heard saying to Lane. "They're organic cigars of my own creation."

"Give them to me," Lane ordered.

"I'll give you one," Sikowitz handed Lane a cigar.

"Honestly, I don't know how people put up with you."

"Lots and lots of coffee," Beck jokingly answered as he passed them and went over to Jade, who had handed Giselle to Cat. "Hey," he tapped her on Jade's shoulder, and she jumped a little not knowing he was behind her.

"Don't ever do that again."

"Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

"I have told you how much I hate it when you talk in song lyrics."

Beck chuckled at her. "It's hard to stay mad at the mother of my children."

"Really, because I can easily stay mad at the father of my children."

He let out another small laugh. "But ya still love me."

"Yeah I guess I love you."

"I'll take that," he embraced her in a kiss.

* * *

><p><strong>I don't like writing crowd scenes; transitions are hard when you gotta move to other people in the same room or general area. Also, I have no idea how to write a labor scene so that's why I didn't feature Tori and Andre (I also wasn't sure how to put them in). And endings aren't my strong suits, but I still hoped this sufficed.<strong>

**Thanks again for sticking w/ me and this fanfic. It's officially over now. I can't thank you guys enough for just reading it in general. Much love to you all. Peace out!**


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